Bulletin Board Post

Family

Issues With My Mom

<div class="ExternalClassE4C26BA8557D4490B3A5F407554A3B3A">I have been having some issues with my mom. She calls me names and says that I am pathetic because I don't do things the way she wants me to do them but I am doing my best and I don't know what she wants. It has gotten to the point where I hate even considering her my mother, it just keeps getting worse and worse. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass5C5E063FEFFA426CBC6E65F5BB7C147E">It's great that you reached out today. No one wants to be called names. We do not know if your mother has tried other ways of getting a message across to you, if she is so frustrated that she is saying things out of anger, or if this is a typical behavior of hers, but it is understandable that you are frustrated and angry about it. Yes, we agree, you need to figure out if you can help change this behavior. At a time when things are calm, can you ask her to run through her expectations and even show you what she would approve of. Whether you are referring to a job around the house, your school grades, taking care of a younger sibling, or something else, maybe the two of you have different ideas of what it is to look like. Another option is to use a feeling statement with her: "I feel inadequate when_________" or "I feel really sad when_____________" This is a non-accusatory way of focusing on your own feelings as opposed to what the other person is doing wrong.You can certainly always email or call in here if you need to talk through something and vent or want help in problem solving a situation. There is going to be no judgement but rather a trained crisis counselor who can help you figure out what your options are. Consider developing a list of about 10 positive coping skills. Some could be distractions like writing your thoughts out, drawing, or calling a friend. Others could be ways to relax like taking a walk, taking a hot shower, or listening to relaxing music. It's important to have healthy options because throughout life there will be stressors that arise that you will need to work through.Laura, Crisis Counselor</div>

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