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My Mom Gets Really MadFamilyMy Mom Gets Really Mad<div class="ExternalClass1476AC6B2F774E2594FA738BDB6DA397"><p>​<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Hi, so I am in contact with you today because my mom blames me for everything and she gets really mad at me. Sometimes I go upstairs to my room and close the door and stay there for hours. I can hear her downstairs saying "how much I hate these kids" and other hurtful stuff. I feel like I can't do anything right and that I mess up. Thanks for the help! </span></p></div><div class="ExternalClass5C40CF4B4C59431A821E96C308A97C85"><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Thank you for contacting Your Life Your Voice.  It has to be very frustrating that your mother loses her cool, and unnecessarily blames you for things.  It also has to be very hurtful that she says mean things.  Home should be a place that you should be comfortable and should feel supported.  It does not appear that this is the case with your mom.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">In looking at this issue, try to focus on what it is that causes your mom to get angry.  Then when things are calm try and sit down with her and problem solve how you both can do things differently.  Take responsibility for your part of the problem.  Hopefully she will also own up to issues as well.  You can both decide how you can avoid conflict in the future, or to constructively resolve problems between both of you.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">You can also talk with your mother and let her know how her comments make you feel.  Again, do this at a time when everything is calm, and try to remain as unemotional as possible.  Try not to be accusatory; just state how her words make you feel. </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Evaluate your interactions with your mom.  Try to be respectful and don't argue.  Instead try to calmly discuss things.  If you find yourself becoming upset, give yourself a time out.  In the long run you will feel better about yourself if you don't have this trouble with your mom.   Your calm behavior may rub off on your mother and it may help her to handle her stress more appropriately.</span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Finally, you may want to consider setting up a regular time to do an activity with your mother.  This will allow you to have some fun time, which should also strengthen your relationship.  You can even alternate picking the activity with your mom picking the activity one week and you the next.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">We want you to know that we are here for you.  Please take care and let us know how you are doing.</span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Nancy, counselor</span></p></div>17

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