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Self Harming Since 4th GradeAddictionSelf Harming Since 4th Grade<div class="ExternalClassEB00228C23124F088841B44E407EB409"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​<span>I have been self harming myself since 4th grade I am now in 7th grade. I stopped self harming for about 2 months, but then I started again. I have depression really bad, I also have anxiety. I have a great boyfriend, he makes me so happy when I am around him, but as soon as we aren't around each other I get all depressed again. I am bisexual, but the only people who support me are my best friends, my mom and dad, and my boyfriend. No one in my extended family helps me try to be happy and not worry about the bad stuff, they all point out the bad stuff in life. And I don't know what to do.  </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClassEB232579433644BA9F198D02AB5E9F7D"><div><div class="ExternalClassEB00228C23124F088841B44E407EB409"><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span> We are glad that you are sharing your feelings.  It is not an easy concept to understand but it is totally true, no one can make you be happy but you!  It is it is totally true, no one can make you be happy but you!  It shouldn't be your boyfriend that makes you happy, or your parents or your friends. You have the choice of being happy or to be sad.</span></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Unfortunately you are not able to control others and what they say and do, you can only control yourself and how you respond to them.  If your extended family always point out the bad things in life, they may have good intentions but you don't need to hear that or perhaps not all the time anyway.  Maybe you can say something like, when you share something bad, can we then talk about at least two good things to keep that balance to the positive?</span><br></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>It may throw them off at first but if you keep saying it, perhaps they will catch on.</span></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Instead of cutting yourself, have you learned and used some healthier coping skills that can replace the self-harm?  It would be really good if you could find a few that work well for you and practice them to make sure you've got them in the forefront of your mind. </span><br></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Depression is serious and there is help available for you to overcome it.  Learn to control it rather than allowing it to control you.  It sounds simple but we know it is not and that it takes a lot of hard work on your part.  We have two great checklists that we would like you to start with to get you thinking in the right direction:</span></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><a href="/Pages/tip-12-steps-to-overcome-depression.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-12-steps-to-overcome-depression.aspx</a> </p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><a href="/Pages/tip-Emotional-Health-Checklist.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-Emotional-Health-Checklist.aspx​</a> </p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Don't give up.  Be strong and strive for that inner-happiness.  It will be well worth the effort you put into it.</span><br></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Sincerely,</span></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Pat, Counselor </span></p> <span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);"> </span><span style="color:rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size:16px;"> </span> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div></div> </div>13

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