Started Self HarmingAddictionStarted Self Harming<div class="ExternalClass23108F1B6A874C4099DAA20B3621EBFE"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​<span>I've started harming myself, most often scratching in areas that are hidden by clothing until I feel it gets deep enough. It doesn't feel safe telling my family, I'd get in huge trouble. I've already gotten in trouble for it once. My dad doesn't have a job so they don't need more stress. I don't know how I'd tell my friends this. One of them would probably tell my mom, the other one I trust more, but I don't even know how to tell her! And the school counselors would probably tell my parents. Are there any ways I could stop, or any ideas for ways to tell someone this without them telling my mom and getting me in huge trouble? </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClassABCF7620B0224718BD73AD6465727DFF"><div><div class="ExternalClass23108F1B6A874C4099DAA20B3621EBFE"><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">You are so brave to reach out for help.  It is really scary that you have been harming yourself.  The injuries that you are making on your body could have some serious consequences such as getting an infection, leaving permanant scars and prevent you from developing healthy coping skills.  We are so glad that you contacted us for help at this time in your life, you say that you just started harming yourself, so now is the time to find ways to replace the self harm with more effective, healthier coping skills.</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Learning to handle stress in a positive way is an imporant life skill.  Often this is something that we forget to teach kids.  Finding the right coping skill for you is going to be a matter of trial and error.  We have a list of 99 things that you can try: <a href="/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx</a>.  We challenge you to try them out.</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">We also want you to think about the things that are stressing you out and get creative.  You can not change all the stress in your life but with some good brainstorming you can make a lot of it better.  We can help you with the brainstorming if you let us know what is causing the most stress in your life.  For example, we know that it is really stressful for your dad not to have a job right now.  While he is not working, perhaps you could consider doing a paper route.  This would give you something that you  and your dad could do together and would help you feel like you were helping out your family.  When your dad finds a job, a paper route might still fit with his new work schedule and just be something special that you do together.</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Sometimes when parents find out about things they react in a way that is scared-mad.  We feel that this happens a lot to parents, when they find out about something.  They really are scared about what is happening to their little girl and feel overwhelmed because they do not know what to do about it, but it comes out as anger because they are subconciously trying to hide the scared.  Do you feel that this was the case with your parents?  If so, having them talk to a professional such as one of your school counselors about your self harm might help.  Your school counselor could give them the support that they need as parents so they do not feel so scared about what is going on with you and your school counselor is paid by your school so this would not be an additional bill for your parents.  Think about it, your school counselor might be able to provide just the support that you and your parents need, you might have be on to something there when you thought of talking to them.</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">We are here for you and your parents if you would like to talk, the call is free and we are available 24/7.</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Sara, Counselor</p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div></div> </div>11

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