Scared Of Losing HerAbuseScared Of Losing Her<div class="ExternalClass2E275F0C00C8411A815B2837416A9A37"><p>​<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">I've been with this girl since the beginning of the summer now. I love her to death and want to marry her one day. I just. I'm being emotionally abusive and I don't want to be. It's not anger or threats or anything. It's coming from my own self hated from being bullied growing up along with a major lack of empathy. I keep on having manic depressive episodes that emotionally hurt her. My lack of empathy causes me to do stupid selfish crap sometimes that makes her feel uncared for, which is the exact opposite of true. I love this girl and would die for her. I'm scared of losing her and don't want to. I love her so much. </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClass9E1E356C0E8E48DA9633D9F3BECEAF18"><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Thank you for contacting Your Life Your Voice.  It isn't easy to reach out when you are struggling, but we are glad that you did.  You have a lot of insight into what is going on with you, and it's great that you are wanting to work on things that will contribute to your personal growth.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Right now your personal issues are impacting your relationship, and your girlfriend.  You may want to ask yourself if it is fair to be in a relationship with someone who is being emotionally abusive?  You may want to consider whether you should be in a relationship with anyone right now.  Before you can love someone else you have to learn to love yourself.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Are you currently enrolled at the university?  If so, you may want to see if the university has a student counseling service.  You may need to work through some of these issues with a therapist, as some of these issues you are dealing with go back to when you were much younger.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">You also indicate that you are having manic depressive episodes.  Are you being treated by a doctor for these mood swings?  This condition can be managed with medication and/or therapy.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Finally, as you and your girlfriend try to deal with these issues, try to keep communication open.  Encourage her to talk about how she is feeling, and attempt to put yourself in her place when you are engaging in behavior that is less than empathetic.  If you put yourself in her place then you will begin to practice empathy.   You may be able to better understand how she is feeling, and be less inclined to be emotionally abusive.  Remember, she is not the bullies of your childhood.  She is a very precious person in your life that deserves to be treated well.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">We want you to know that we are here for you.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Please take care and let us know how you are doing.  </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3">Nancy, counselor</span><br></p></div>19

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