Why Am I So Jealous?FeelingsWhy Am I So Jealous?<div class="ExternalClassB9837604B77B4F098ADA7E783F8473C8"><p>​<span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;color:#15232b;">I have been getting really jealous lately and I don't know why? I don't like the feeling I get, it's ugly and I was not a person who felt this way about anybody.....I mean small ill feelings from time to time but I would fix myself and say no I am happy for this person but now I get even more jealous which I don't understand.<br> My brother got a new car from his company, and he showed it to me today...the first thing I said was, "Couldn't you have gotten a car from a different color?". My brother was humble and grateful, he replied saying, "I'm just happy that I got this, ya know:)". What I felt when I saw the car was that why does he get it, why don't I get one?! I was just really jealous.<br>Why am I so jealous and selfish? While typing all this...I can feel the jealousy, anger.....I don't like feeling this way...…how do I get rid of these ill feelings.....It's not a beautiful feeling to have and I am ashamed).<br> I should be grateful for all that I have....I mean there are millions of people who don't have what I have so why am I so negative, why am I jealous and selfish and why am I not happy with what I have? </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClassDC3C7020A8854CC5816DDEF6F196376D"><p>​It's great that you are reaching out and even more commendable that you recognize this part of you that you want to change.  Being jealous or having envious feelings are very normal.  You're definitely not alone in these feelings. </p><p>Jealousy can rise up and make you feel less worthy or not enough. These feelings can be really overwhelming and sometimes take over to make your self-esteem worse. It's great that you are recognizing this in you and want to do something about it. It sounds like right now you are really stuck on those thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that someone will always have more or be better than you if you compare yourself to them and ONLY focus on that. So let's talk about how to turn that around. </p><p>Know the direction you are headed. This is called self-awareness. When you have self-awareness you can recognize that the stories in your head are deceiving.  Instead focus on how you can improve or what you can do to change that negative direction. Much like you used to do, remind yourself that you are happy for that person, or are grateful for their friendship. Try reading through this tip: <span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;"><a href="/pages/picture-perfect.aspx">Picture Perfect</a></span><br></p><p>Feeling resentment or envy, holds you back and keeps you feeling negative. Combat those feelings with positive statements. For example with your brother, it is okay to think that you sure would like a new car but be thankful that your brother is hard worker and that he has a good job that offers that to him. Remind yourself that you are not him but you have many things to be thankful for - <span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;"><a href="/pages/the-attitude-of-gratitude.aspx?Topic=Self%20Esteem">The Attitude of Gratitude</a></span>.<br></p><p>Practice some mindfulness. Tune into your body and process those emotions. Journal if you need to.<br></p><p>It's okay to experience these feelings.  They are normal but don't let those feelings consume you.  <br></p><p>Our counselors are here for you anytime.  Please call or text with one of us today if you'd like to talk further about this.  We are here for you. <br></p><p>​Take care, <br></p><p>Naina, counselor<br></p></div>

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