I Want This To EndSuicideI Want This To End<div class="ExternalClass43B9D23ACEB2482186CE4FA8E1255BFB"><p>​<span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;">I've been depressed and suicidal all my life with no particular reason I mean I have achieved things in life but those are just distractions to not think about my misery. I don't know how normal is. I cry almost everynight for no reason. I want this to end but I'm too much of a coward to do it. </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClass6A9E1E4451354427B2028AB5DF6BDCD8"><p>​It's great that you are reaching out for help. Feeling suicidal and depressed are not fun feelings to have and certainly can pose a safety risk. Thanks so much for sharing here at YLYV. Everyone's "normal" might look different, but if you are spending more time feeling down than enjoying life, YES there needs to be more balance or perhaps more services in place for you so you can manage your depression and not constantly be running interference with your suicidal thoughts.</p><p> We do not know if you have been trying to manage this on your own, have support, or are working with a professional team. Read some of the <a href="/Pages/Tips.aspx">YLYV Tips</a> here under suicide, depression, and understanding happiness. The good news is that feelings can change, support circles can widen, and a lot of times good healthy coping skills when used all of the time can help people to stay focused on the positives, avoid negativity, break a habit that is not helpful, and start to separate the little things from the big things that do need attention.<br></p><p>You mentioned that you have achieved things in life. That's awesome. Don't allow anyone to minimize those things whether you graduated high school, were on a winning team, or have been able to support yourself in your own apartment. Instead, ask yourself what you would still like to do in life. Having hope is a huge part of keeping yourself safe. Setting small little daily goals to get you to your dreams or larger goals is important too which means you have to have some sense of structure or organization to plan the little goals out too.</p><p>If night time is the worst for you, think about what you can do to change up your routine a bit. Whether you need to touch base with a friend, need to do a physical activity to relax your mind, save a chore for the evening to keep you busy, plan a short outing, or read an uplifting book, change something up to see if you notice a difference in your mood.<br></p><p>Do not keep this a secret. If you ever thought you might act on your thoughts, pause and call the hotline or tell a loved one right away. One moment should not ruin your life ok. If you need referrals for help in your local area, give us a call and a crisis counselor can look that up for you too. There is strength in asking for help.</p><p>Sincerely,<br></p><p>Laura, Crisis Counselor<br></p></div>21

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