Bulletin Board Post

Relationships

He Wants To Be Friends

<div class="ExternalClassAE362D1F56954524BA0E3E17EC4F22BD">I reached out before about my breakup and talked about what to do. Now I need help with deciding if being friends with him is the best option. He said he wanted to be good friends, but I get upset a lot because he’s talking to other girls and such. I know its part of ending a relationship but how do I keep a friendship with him if I get upset when he starting to move on? </div>

<div class="ExternalClass459D6F661254495EB0E7B1683B900C42">We are glad you are staying in touch. We can appreciate how difficult it is trying to be friends with an ex. As you pointed out, it can be hurtful to see them with others after your relationship ended. It sounds like you had made an emotional investment with the relationship, and now it is like he is trying to back track, or act like it never happened. There is no shame if you are feeling hurt over the breakup, that says the depth of the relationship was important to you. Now, trying to just turn it off and make it into a friendship denies the emotional investment you put into the relationship. Give some thought as to what you want, what is healthy and right for you. If it is best for you to stop seeing or limiting your contact with him, that is ok. You may need to draw the line so to speak and take care of yourself. Consider doing some new activities that you did not do together with him. This will help to start learning something new about yourself, maybe even meet some new people. Stay Strong, keep reaching out. We hope you stay in touch. Sincerely, Larry – Counselor </div>

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