I Lose My Temper In SecondsFeelingsI Lose My Temper In Seconds<div class="ExternalClass5D5244E66A3D48BCAE0A59A3A58DF1F0"><p>​<span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;">For the past few months, I've gotten frustrated easily. I lose my temper in seconds and I go off. When I go off it's not pretty. I've lost some really important people that meant a lot to me and soon regret my words. But saying sorry is never enough because the words I said were so harsh. How can I check myself before any of this happens again and I lose another person that means a lot to me?</span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClass3A0AF518FB1844A685D4257D898FC0AF"><p>​Thanks for reaching out about this. It's really hard when you feel like you aren't able to control your emotions, especially when you see the effects of it. Even so, you're doing a great job by finding support and being willing to make positive changes.</p><p>It sounds like there are a couple important factors here: managing your frustration and maintaining healthy relationships. In those moments of frustration and anger, it's normal to feel like you're losing control. As it builds up, it gets harder and harder to stay calm, which can lead to some harsh exchanges that you really don't intend. Even though it might seem difficult, there are some helpful ways to cope with frustration and manage anger. To start, it helps to pay attention to what makes you feel angry. Is the anger caused by something that someone says or does? Or does stress just seem to build up without any relief? Anger is a very normal emotion, but sometimes it's good to consider what makes you feel angry, that way start to avoid it altogether.<br></p><p>Whenever you do feel angry, take a moment to first recognize and admit that you feel that way. At that point, maybe it would help to walk away from the situation to calm down. If that's not possible, take a really deep breath and count to 10 (or 100 if it's pretty intense). By doing that, you're stopping your temper in its tracks and allowing yourself to think about the things you say, before you say them.<br></p><p>There might still be times when you say things out of anger, but that's okay. This is something that you have to practice and work on over time. It's really encouraging that you're willing to apologize and own up to your actions afterwards, since that's not an easy thing to do. If there is a particular person who is really hurt by what you say, apologizing and asking for their forgiveness is an important step. If they're open to it, maybe you could take some time to explain how you felt in that moment, that way they can see that you didn't mean to hurt them, and that you're willing to move forward together.<br></p><p>For some more help on this, check out these articles when you get the chance:  <a href="/Pages/tip-4-ways-to-manage-your-anger.aspx?Topic=Anger">4 Ways to Manage Your Anger</a> and <a href="/Pages/tip-What-If-I-Dont-Agree.aspx?Topic=Friendship">What if I Don't Agree?</a> If you'd like to talk about this some more, or need any kind of support, please reach out again. You can also talk with a counselor over call or text anytime. We're here for you.</p><p>​Take care,<br></p><p>Nate, Counselor<br></p></div>13

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