Should I Keep Asking My Friends For Help?RelationshipsShould I Keep Asking My Friends For Help?<div class="ExternalClass6F59FAF932DE4A3B9DFDA4ACC26B803F"><p>​I'm always there for my best friend. No matter what she's going through I give her advice.. even if I don't know what to say, I try to be honest with her.. I give advice to all my friends yet whenever they need it. I'm always helping them and telling them what I think and fixing things.. Yet they all (my best friend in particular) say how they're not good at giving advice and change the topic. The other day I told my best friend something that was bothering me and she responded by telling my she had finished season one of a show we were talking about earlier. Then I'm always left feeling like I shouldn't have said anything.. am I being to overdramatic, expecting they at least try to give me advice, whether they are "good at it" or not? Should I keep asking them for help or should I just stop bothering them with my problems in general?<br></p></div><div class="ExternalClassFCB19EAD67CC4BF6842E1DBB4A2CFE7A"><p>​Thanks so much for writing in. Boy that is frustrating. </p><p>It sounds like you are blessed with the ability to be a good listener and a good empathizer. People look for different things when they share an issue with someone. Some want advice, some just want a listening ear, some want an opinion on what they would do if they were in that situation.</p><p>What is happening with your friends might just be, they are not sure what to say or are worried what might happen if they say the wrong thing. It's hard when the subject just gets changed though. It probably makes you feel like they are minimizing what you are saying – like it is not important or that they have something better or more important to talk about.<br></p><p>Next time maybe before sharing something important with them start off by telling them what you are looking for before you share. Something like “Hey I'm not looking for advice, but I'm just frustrated about a situation, can I just vent for a bit" or “Hey so-and-so made a comment to me. Can I tell you what she said and see what you think she meant by that?" In other words, you are telling them what you are looking for before you share the content.<br></p><p>Remember though, everyone is different. You could tell the same information to 3 different people and you might get 3 different answers. Your friends cannot be there to fix a problem nor can you fix theirs, however you can listen to advice or opinions and then make your decision based on information shared.<br></p><p>​We hope that this helps.<br></p><p>Laura, Crisis Counselor<br></p></div>16

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