Bulletin Board Post

Family

How Do I Deal With My Brother?

<div class="ExternalClass47F81A26EC0A4626B1B5137BFC9B9F99">I'm the oldest sibling and in charge of three younger siblings. one of which is two years younger than me and has ADHD. The past year it has gotten progressively worse as his behaviors include stealing my things, disrespecting me, lying too often and unnecessarily, and being incredibly rude. Admittedly, lately I've been resorting to swearing and yelling as a way to release my anger with him and I know that it's completely unreasonable to do so. But it's my first reaction to being upset with him. I sometimes bring up how I'm frustrated and upset with my mom but she has failed to make any long lasting positive changes, and resorts to putting him on his ipad or playing on the xbox for hours to keep him preoccupied. Something which I don't agree with because she always resorts to it and he gets the pleasure after doing something wrong. I don't want to have a negative relationship with my brother. I don't want to resort to yelling and swearing when I'm upset, and I don't want to keep dealing with this until I move out. Help. </div>

<div class="ExternalClassDBA55AA16293473F8476A95019AF1B96">We're glad you're reaching out. It sounds like everything that is going on with your brother is causing a lot of stress in your life. It can become very overwhelming when you see what is going on with your brother and you feel like you can't do anything to stop it.Sometimes it helps to write down your feelings and share them with your mom at a neutral time. Sharing your thoughts while lashing out is often not very productive, sometimes things may be said in anger that you might not really mean to say. Writing a letter gives you time to process your emotions and think about what you really want to share. You could even write a letter to share with your mom and one to share with your brother to let them know how you are feeling. Here are a couple of links about writing letters, sharing feelings, and talking to your parents that may help in this situation: <a href="/Pages/tip-how-to-talk-to-parents.aspx?Topic=Family">How To Talk to Your Parents</a><a href="/Pages/tip-sibling-rivalry.aspx?Topic=Family">Sibling Rivalry</a> <a href="/Pages/tip-letter-to-your-parents.aspx?Topic=Family">Writing a Letter</a><a href="/Pages/tip-What-If-I-Dont-Agree.aspx?Topic=Family">Disagreements</a> Keep reaching out for support from trusted adults in your life. Find ways to be involved in activities outside of your home if possible (work, sports, band, etc.). The more layers of support and coping skills you add to your life, the smoother things will go.We know this is a difficult time and we are here for you whenever you need to vent your feelings. The next time you feel angry, try to call us first so you can talk it out. This will give you space to talk about your frustrations without getting into a conflict with your brother or mom.Keep working on finding ways through this,Nikki, Counselor </div>

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