What If I Don’t Agree With My Parent’s Religion?FamilyWhat If I Don’t Agree With My Parent’s Religion?<div class="ExternalClassB5EF178D597D485EB2D7E45A69BBC62D"><p>​I decided I don't want to be a part of my family's religion anymore. But the problem was, my parents (mostly my father) are very strict with this religion, and would surely be highly disappointed if I told them, and there would be so many consequences. For the past few months, I've been anxious every single day about this dilemma. The school's guidance counselor, social worker, and even my friends didn't do much besides be there to listen and give minimal advice. I don't know what to do to solve this problem anymore. This religion, has many rules. One of them is you can't date, and your parents choose a bride/groom for you; when you reach the right age. My dad is quite strict about this; I believe he has shunned relatives on his side of the family when they left the church. To make it worse, just last week my dad told me to gain weight because he wants me to be, and I quote, "not very attractive, so boys won't be attracted to me." I had just gotten to a normal weight, and right when I was feeling confident in myself, he's now telling me to gain some of it back; I don't believe this is healthy for me, both physically and emotionally. I honestly don't know what to do.<br></p></div><div class="ExternalClass74F55F6FE4454FBC8A1C0410096707DD"><p>​We are glad to see you have come across our site and decided to reach out today. Our goal is to help you by offering resources, or simply lending an ear/eye to listen/read.</p><p>Religion is one of those topics that many people feel very strongly about, for example, your father. From what you shared it seems your family holds their religious values in a serious regard especially given the fact that they have shut others out for not being strict followers. Add too - the fact that you are their daughter, so your parents have expectations of what your future might look like too. You simply may not be able to change that. It is hard to accept that we cannot change another person's outlook or expectations. Sometimes we are only in control of ourselves, and we understand that right now you might feel like that is not even the case for you, given your religion. Because we know this has affected your overall wellbeing, we want to remind you that you are important, even if you do not feel you are the one directing your future right now.<br></p><p>One option would be to not discuss your religious beliefs right now with your parents if you know the reaction will include unforeseeable (or negative) consequences. If they disagree, or find it offensive, or will continue by over-pressuring you, ask yourself if they need to hear about it right now. It's tough because it seems YOU have to hear about it often with your father's comments. We cannot tell you what to do one way or another, we can only encourage you think about what your options are. </p><p>Consider the following: What do I want to achieve through a solution? Are there things that you agree with your parents on, can you stick to these topics? Finding other things, that you agree on to talk about may help to ease some of the tension you are feeling. Try some of the tips in our <a href="/Pages/Build-a-Bridge-Not-a-Wall.aspx">Building A Bridge</a> tip.</p><p>What are some healthy ways that you can handle stressful situations? Practice healthy <a href="/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx?Topic=Coping%20Skills">coping skills</a>. This can be partaking in activities you enjoy, writing in a journal, listening to music, or calling to talk with someone at our hotline. It can take time to <a href="/Pages/tip-choosing-the-right-coping-skill.aspx?Topic=Coping%20Skills">find the right coping skill</a> for you and might not happen right away. When your father makes a comment that gets you down, remember to lift yourself up. The important thing is that you continue to remind yourself that <a href="/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx">you are awesome</a>, and do not give up on yourself.</p><p>Keep your head up!</p><p>All the best,</p><p>BME<br></p></div>13

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