​How Do I Stop Being Emotionally Abusive?Abuse​How Do I Stop Being Emotionally Abusive?<div class="ExternalClass626329D69A624D459553E78B25768A35"><p>I am an emotional abuser. I don't want to be one anymore. What do I need to do? Who do I need to talk to? I want to change.​<br></p></div><div class="ExternalClassD68C769924E045FFB437CC374D685835"><p>​It's really a big step to reach out and admit that you are emotionally abusing someone. The fact that you have recognized it and want to stop is very wise and brave. You have taken the right step in wanting to change.</p><p>Here is what we know about this. There are many parts to this process. It will take time and lots of practice and patience. </p><p>Making amends with others will help others see that you are trying to change the behavior and hopefully hold you accountable. Keep in mind; they may not want to talk with you if you have been too hurtful to them. Consider writing those people letters. </p><p>Identify the source of your behavior. This will help you understand where the problems are starting. Take time to think about what is causing you stress in your life. Are you using drugs or alcohol to cope? Are you self-abusing in any way? If you have problems in your life that you can't control, others may be your innocent victims so figuring that out will be vital to making this change. </p><p>Remove the source of your abusive behavior. If you can't remove it, (work, family, school), you will have to try to figure out how to work around it or with it. You may have to build boundaries with people or situations that are your source of stress. It may also stem from past trauma or unresolved conflict. You might want to talk with a professional therapist or counselor if so.</p><p>Change your behavior. Instead of being the center of attention, stop and listen to those who you have hurt. Don't try to minimize their experience, listen to how you impacted their life when you hurt them. You may feel like you want to defend yourself or make an excuse but this isn't the time. Just listen. Take responsibility for your part and ask for forgiveness. Just know that they don't have to forgive you and that might take some time. Allow them some space. </p><p>With that, allow yourself some space, too. Forgive yourself and do your best to change those behaviors. Getting help from a professional may be just the ticket you need to stay on track and allow yourself the time to work through these steps. Use your best coping skills and take care of yourself.</p><p>Please know that our crisis counselors are here for you anytime. Call, email, chat or text. You don't have to go through this alone. </p><p>Take care, </p><p>Naina, counselor<br></p></div>19

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