How Do I Deal With Juvie?AddictionHow Do I Deal With Juvie?<div class="ExternalClass9E74EA4E4C3348728A1770842B7EE971"><p>​<span style="font-size:12pt;font-family:"times new roman", serif;">Some months back, shortly after I got my license, I went to this party a friend of mine was throwing. Someone brought booze. I hadn't planned on drinking, but I got caught up in the moment I guess and drank along with everyone else. I mean, I got really trashed. By the end of the night, I thought I was good to drive. I even agreed to give someone a lift home. Long story short, I got pulled over and arrested for drunk driving. Fast forward to today. I was in court early this morning to receive my sentence. I'd never been in trouble with the law before, so I thought I might be given probation with community service. But that's not what happened. The judge sentenced me to 30 days in juvie. The only reason I'm not there right now is because I have a job and I do some volunteer work as well. So the judge gave me the rest of the week to resign and get my affairs in order. Then on Friday at 6 pm, I have to report to the county juvenile detention center to begin serving my sentence. I own the fact that what I did was criminal and stupid. I know I'm lucky that I didn't get in an accident. And I don't deny that I deserve my punishment. My parents are upset and disappointed in me beyond belief. I don't blame them. I really hate what this has done to our relationship. We used to be so close, but now all trust is lost. I could really use some help in figuring out how to show them that I take full responsibility and that I've learned from this and won't be so reckless in the future. I'm also really stressed from thinking about juvie. None of my friends have ever been there and no one in my family has ever gone to jail or anyplace like that, so I have no idea what to expect. I'm really doing my best not to freak out right now. </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClassFD7587BE216E487D82855F582A8A390A"><p>Thank you so much for emailing in.  There is no doubt you are anxious about the detention center and having to leave your home and school for a month.  The judge's message was loud and clear, and it sounds like although you have come to terms with it, you are really struggling with your parent's reaction to all of this and how you can rebuild trust with them.</p><p>This will take time, but you can do it.  You can still be close with them.  In fact, often times after a scary experience or traumatic event, families can become closer and the recognition of how important honesty, open communication, and healthy choices are is highlighted so that there is less chance of this happening again.</p><p>Your Mom and Dad might be disappointed, but the strongest reactions come from parents who care.  They love you, they are worried about you, and they want to know that you are going to be ok.   Some ways to build up trust are:</p><ul><li>Comply:  you may not like all of their rules, but be respectful of them and just follow them for now</li><li>Duties:  go above and beyond both at the correctional center and at home; ask for extra chores, volunteer for something, be a group leader, or answer "yes" right away when asked to do something</li><li>Apology:  you have probably already done this, but sometimes an apology is more meaningful if you also express what you are going to do so that something does not happen again.  In your case this could be just call them for a ride home if kids start drinking, never allow your friends to bring anything illegal into your home or car, don't attend a party where you know there will be alcohol (even if you are not drinking it), hang out with kids who are making healthy choices</li><li>Family Time:  organize a family activity, be sure to just hang out together and not isolate in your bedroom, tell your parents what you appreciate about them, help out a sibling.  </li></ul><p>Here are few tips to help you through this.  Remember no one is perfect.  You are not a bad person, you just made bad choice that one evening.<br></p><p>Here are some links to help you through this: </p><p><a href="/Pages/10-Ways-to-Stay-Grounded.aspx?Topic=Anxiety">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/10-Ways-to-Stay-Grounded.aspx?Topic=Anxiety</a><br></p><p><a href="/Pages/tip-letter-to-your-parents.aspx?Topic=Family">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/tip-letter-to-your-parents.aspx?Topic=Family</a></p><p>Feel free to reach out anytime.  If you need to talk call in or chat in if you have some time.  You will get through this.<br></p><p>Laura, Crisis Counselor<br></p></div>16

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