| How Do I Help Him? | Relationships | How Do I Help Him? | <div class="ExternalClass809D495866504310BB2B3F710C2C9E13"><p><span style="font-family:"segoe ui", segoe, tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:17.3333px;">My boyfriend isn't
okay. I am getting worried about him the longer I let this go on without saying
anything. I've tried to talk to him but it doesn't work. He has cut himself and
has done worse in past. He breaks down and has panic attacks when we get into
fights. I am not the only one scared of what he might do. He refuses to talk to
anyone but I can't go on knowing the things that I do. He has threatened to make
me watch him hurt himself if I don't keep a promise to him. And tells me that
if I leave him he won't be able to handle it. He doesn't want me to say
anything to anyone and says that he just wants to talk to me about these things
but I can't handle it on my own anymore. I'm scared that one day he won't
hesitate to take it a step farther. I don't know what to do and I need help. </span><br></span></p></div> | <div class="ExternalClass0B78BD79560D4098AA62E3426D9966A5"><p><span style="font-size:17.3333px;">You are right – your boyfriend is not ok AND neither is his treatment of you. It sound like he is really hurting right now and has made some threats regarding his own safety. Emotional struggles can be debilitating and it is hard to watch someone you care for go through them. However, right now you are being emotionally blackmailed. You are being made to feel that you are the one who will determine whatever next step he takes, and that is wrong. </span></p><p><span style="font-size:17.3333px;">You do not have to do this alone. This needs adult intervention now and cannot wait until the next time he harms himself again. Whether he has intentions to end his own life, he is trying to cope by harming himself so he feels pain, or he is forcing you into what HE thinks you should do next or YOU will have to deal with his actions, he needs intervention. Just so you know, even adults worry about letting a friend or boyfriend down by telling other adults about their concerns when it comes to a person's safety, or depression, or suicidal ideations, but you have to. No one can be their partner's therapist. You are together to have a loving, genuine, mutually respectful, and enjoyable relationship, but instead, you are forced to continually worry about him.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:17.3333px;">Call his parents now and enlist the help of your parents or the school counselor if you need encouragement to do so. Another real important piece would be to be very specific with the threats he has made. You don't have to share intimate details, but the people who can get him help need to know how serious this is. Ok? You are not being untrue to him by doing this, you just might be saving him.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:"segoe ui", segoe, tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:17.3333px;">Laura, Crisis Counselor</span><br></span></p></div> | 17 | | |
