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I Need Help

Suicide

I Need Help

<div class="ExternalClass638F1070DD494089AA2649AC65382726"><p>​<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Hi, I can't believe I'm really doing this but I need help. I've been battling depression for about 2-3 years now. My parents divorced when I was 7 so I had to move. I live with my mom and step dad. I feel about ready to explode. My parents don't know I'm suicidal, depressed, or that I cut. No one I know face to face knows. Only people that I talk to online know. It's gotten pretty bad recently but I haven't cut for 2-3 weeks now. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I'm so emotional recently and the smallest thing can set me off. Sometimes my suicidal thoughts get so bad. Once I had the knife literally to my throat but then I didn't do it. I was literally outside on the balcony about to jump. I want to die so much. I wish I could just do it but for some reason I'm still here. I need help but I'm afraid to tell my parents or anyone that can tell my parents. Please help me. </span><br></p></div>

<div class="ExternalClassDFBE842620664AC9A6E0F0B2FEE7334F"><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We are so glad that you reached out.  Suicide is never a good option.  It is forever.  It is permanent.  It hurts you the most as you never get the chance to feel happier.  It changes life forever for your friends and loved ones.  So, this is really serious that you want to kill yourself.  Depression can distort your thinking.  It can make you feel like no one is there for you – like you cannot imagine life any other way. Do you think that is why you are struggling to tell your mom how you feel?</span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">If you have never confided in anyone that you feel depressed, the time to do that is now.  Depression is treatable and in fact not everyone who gets diagnosed with depression has to take medication or be in counseling forever.  There just is help out there for you.  You have this hotline to talk to for starters.  Together maybe we can think of what resources might be helpful for you. </span> </p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Do you think you could promise yourself that you will not end your life until you tell a trusted adult whom you know, "I feel suicidal!"   Not any other phrase, just lay it out there for them so that they know how serious it is.  You shared that you have even thought of plans in the past which elevates the severity of your intentions to hurt yourself.  </span> </p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Cutting is only masking what is really going on inside of you.  Often times that can cause more pain.  It gives you only temporary relief.  It does not solve the problem.   It makes you worry about scars and about what people will say if they see the marks.  It could harm you more than you intend it to.  There was something telling you to get help today, and you no longer have to sit alone with these thoughts.  Keep reaching out.  Keep safe.  There are many more ways out of depression than ending you.<br></span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Laura, Crisis Counselor</span></p></div>

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