| I Am Not Ready To Do The Things He Wants To Do | Relationships | I Am Not Ready To Do The Things He Wants To Do | <div class="ExternalClass4E13750BD30341F4968BCB713D3976AC"><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">I know this service
is not supposed to take the place of therapy, but it's the closest thing I can
find. I have a few issues with myself, but the main one is my boyfriend. I love
him so much. But he is ready to do things that I just am not ready to do. And I
don't think he knows that he's pressuring me to do them. Like, I don't believe
that he is doing it purposefully. He just wants to show his love to me, but I
just can't accept that right now. And honestly, due to some past sex-related
trauma, I know that I won't be ready for any kind of intimacy for a while. And
I have told him this, and he's told me that he will wait for me to be ready.
But then the next day he asking for kisses and touches and I just can't. I
don't want to lose him, so I try to do some things but it feels forced and I
don't want to put myself through that but relationships are about compromise
and I can't tell him no all the time but I want to. I just... I don't know what
to do. We've been together for 5 months now, and he's told me that he wants to
be together forever. I do, too- just not like this. I don't know what to do,
but I can't do this forever but I can't break up with him because I don't what
he'd do if I did and I just love him so much but... I don't know. </span><br></p></div> | <div class="ExternalClassCFBB299ED80240BE87267F9A446E4B69"><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We are glad you have discovered our website and are reaching out tonight. We can appreciate the confusion and sense of conflict you conveyed in your email regarding your relationship with your boyfriend. Yes, it can be difficult navigating all the different emotions involved in romantic relationships. You are doing a good job recognizing and being honest with the conflicts rather than shying away from them, which would likely create more problems as they would still be "simmering" under the surface. It is also great you are being open with your boyfriend. Forcing yourself into activities that you are not comfortable with would create just as great as burden as the conflict you are feeling now, and likely even more as there would be a sense of violating a boundary you have for yourself currently. That could breed resentment. We encourage you to try to be patient with this decision making process and ask for continued patience from your boyfriend. He has told you that he wants to be together forever. A little more time now could go a long way for a better, more meaningful relationship in the future. </span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We have included a few tips that we think will be helpful:<br></span></p><p>
<a href="/Pages/tip-healthy-relationships.aspx?Topic=Dating"><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-healthy-relationships.aspx?Topic=Dating</span></a><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4"> </span></p><p>
<a href="/Pages/tip-your-boundaries.aspx?Topic=Dating">
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-your-boundaries.aspx?Topic=Dating</span></a><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4"> </span></p><p>
<a href="/Pages/tip-Communication.aspx?Topic=Dating">
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-Communication.aspx?Topic=Dating</span></a><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4"> </span>
<br class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4"></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">As you will see in these articles we believe healthy relationships have good communication and boundaries that are respected.</span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We know that relationships can be difficult to manage as you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings and feel you want to continue to grow closer. Physical intimacy is not the only way to grow closer. There is also intellectual, emotional and spiritual intimacy. Think about taking a class together so you can discuss it. Find a way to express the highs and lows of your day to each other; try writing old fashioned letters back and forth. Go to church together; join a youth group so you can both grow in your spiritual journey. Think of fun activities that you could do together things such as a cooking class, hiking, or going to a museum.<br></span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We want you to know we are here for you if you want to talk. <strong><em>Expressing your feelings and talking can help offer some relief by sharing the burden. You may also discover options to your situation that you would not likely discover on our own.</em></strong> <br></span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Stay brave, keep reaching out.</span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Sincerely,</span></p><p>
<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3"><span class="ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Larry – Counselor</span><br></span></p></div> | 16 | | |
