Bulletin Board Post

Relationships

Argument With My Best Friend

<div class="ExternalClassC3437F2FE8E64E07BAFB76F6DEEF2538">I recently got into an argument with my absolute best friend. Neither of us have many friends, her and I were literally never apart and if we weren't hanging out we were texting. It's been over a week now and we still aren't talking. Long story short I had been hired at her work because we thought it would be fun to work together. Well I hung out with her and her coworker and the boss who's like 20 met up with them and it was horrible. I was left out completely. I ended the night with telling her I don't want the (explicit) job and sending her a middle finger emoji... mature I know But I was just hurt. 3 days after not talking I reached out and apologized, she said it was fine she hadn't tried hard enough to include me but she quickly cut the conversation off then and it's been several more days and we still haven't talked. I feel like I lost my best friend... it feels horrible. I've been hanging out with my other friend but I still can't help but feel so sad. In my room I have several pictures of us, a doll we shared, clothes, everything that's a constant reminder. It's just hard to accept the one person who knows more about me than anyone else and who I spent all my time with wants nothing to do with me and I guess it's my fault. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass569A97917DE74EBE97AAA76EE35C37A2">It is so painful when relationships hit a bumpy road or an ending. In this case, you don't know yet if this is an ending to a friendship or just a really tough time. It sounds like you have learned some really valuable and difficult lessons through this all. 1) When you have really intense angry feelings, it is best to cool off before you say or text anything. 2) Apologizing is really important and you did a great job coming to this realization and taking ownership for your actions. Hopefully this will help you down the road to mend your friendship. 3) Maybe working with a friend is not a good idea, it is just too much together time. So now the question becomes – what should you do next? Ask yourself, if she had reacted in the same way to you, would have the apology that you gave been sufficient? Or do you feel like you need to make a further apology, remind her of the good times and how much you really do appreciate her? If this is the case consider writing her an old fashioned letter and sending it to her home with a couple of favorite pictures of the two of you. If you feel that you have already expressed this, then the next step is to wait. We know this is extremely difficult. While you are waiting, give her space to work through her feelings and allow her to reach out to you. Do not keep calling or texting her.While you are in a waiting, you are smart to hang out with your other friend. This gives you someone to talk to about your feelings. In addition to this, try to think about ways you can better handle your anger in the future. We have some tips that might be helpful: <a href="/Pages/tip-4-ways-to-manage-your-anger.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-4-ways-to-manage-your-anger.aspx</a>.Also think about ways you can take care of yourself during this time. Self-care will allow you to process your emotions without being overwhelmed by them. <a href="/Pages/tip-9-steps-to-taking-care-of-yourself.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-9-steps-to-taking-care-of-yourself.aspx</a> Remember, we will be here for you if you would like to talk. You can text or chat with us through <a href="/">www.yourlifeyourvoice.org</a> or you can call us anytime – 1-800-448-3000.Let us know if you would like to talk,Sara, Counselor</div>

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