I'm Not Sure I Made The Right DecisionRelationshipsI'm Not Sure I Made The Right Decision<div class="ExternalClassE897139F6B7D427FAEDDE86D8397D519"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​<span>I just got out of a really long toxic/abusive relationship. We were together for 2 years, however I broke up with her about a year ago. Ever since we have just been friends. After all that we had been through, things just started to go wrong. She would accuse me of not letting her hang out with other people, but she would never tell me. Even if I asked her if she wanted to hang out with other people she would say no. Today I tried talking to her after a couple days of not talking. She pushed me away and put me down. She called me names, told me that she had wasted her life on me. So I decided to tell her that I wanted nothing else to do with her. Once I got back to my friends, they knew that I wasn't okay. Even though I focused too much on the wrong person for a long time they were always there. But thing is now...I'm not sure that I made the right decision. I miss talking to her, I miss telling how things went. I'm just not sure what to do at this point... </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClassAFF37D17FCA645FA819EBA3131D16950"><div><div class="ExternalClassE897139F6B7D427FAEDDE86D8397D519"><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>We are glad you decided to write in for support. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of emotional pain from your last relationship and it sounds like overall it was a fairly unhealthy relationship for you both. It’s great that you are able to recognize that, and that you were able to move out of that relationship. However, it sounds like you still have had a lot of contact with each other and are still pretty involved. </span><span> </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>It's not an easy thing to step away from those toxic relationships.  It's natural to want to remain friends, however, this is not always the best choice and can still lead to the toxicity and abuse to carry through to the friendship even though the official titles of it being a serious relationship are no longer there. It is great that you have such supportive friends that care for you and are intuitive of your feelings. In any relationship that ends, especially when we keep in contact, it common you will begin to miss that person and want to reconnect again. However, sometimes you have to remind yourself of the reason things ended. Based on her response to you today of her pushing you away, and calling you names it doesn’t sound like much has changed that would not make this a healthy relationship choice for you, or her for that matter.  </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>You deserve  a relationship where you feel supported and loved. A relationship that helps you grow and feel safe. Relationships should not involve control or hurtful words that bring us down. That is not healthy and it is not what you deserve. Sometimes after a relationship ends, it is best we cut ties and really heal from the pain that comes along with the end of a relationship. The end of a relationship can be a time to learn to love ourselves, and find ourselves again. This can help us become open to finding a new relationship in the future that would be what we truly want and what we deserve.  Here are some articles on our website that might be helpful to you in this time:</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><a href="/Pages/tip-shoe-box-therapy.aspx" style="background-color:rgb(255, 255, 255);">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-shoe-box-therapy.aspx</a><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-what-do-you-want-in-a-relationship.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-what-do-you-want-in-a-relationship.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-the-mirror-rule.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-the-mirror-rule.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-finding-yourself.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-finding-yourself.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>We are here to offer you support 24 hour a day, 7 days a week. Stay Strong!</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Brittany, Counselor</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div></div> </div>16

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