I Don't Know How To CopeFeelingsI Don't Know How To Cope<div class="ExternalClassA8464E0948DB45D2BFB0A98BEE9D910C"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​H<span>ey, I'm actually not too sure where to start with this. I've been struggling mentally and emotionally for about 2 years now. I was severely bullied and then my dad died recently. My dad was my best friend and I'm so very miserable. I don't know how to cope. I try asking my mom for help, but she basically just tells me to get over it and move on like I know how. I cut myself because I wasn't sure what else to do, I hate myself everyday for it. I have no real friends. I want to be happy again.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClass42DE7B861FC94A9EB60E14A4C4287BC8"><div><div class="ExternalClassA8464E0948DB45D2BFB0A98BEE9D910C"><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>We are glad that you reached out today, and are so sorry for the loss of your beloved father.  When a loved one dies it is normal to experience grief.  Grief is very painful and you can expect to feel a variety of emotions including anger, sadness, and depression. </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>In order to deal with grief you have to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially.  Make sure that you get plenty of rest and that you eat regular healthy meals.  Try to maintain your daily routine as much as possible.  Many people find that trying staying in a regular routine will help them get through difficult times.  Emotionally it is important to recognize when you may need extra support. </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Do not let yourself become immobilized because of your pain.  Identify important support systems that you can turn to if you need help.  These support systems can be your family, other trusted adults, or a hotline counselor.  Also make yourself a personal priority by treating yourself gently, finding what gives you comfort, and postponing any major decisions until you feel more emotionally centered. </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Having issues with self-harming can be overwhelming.  Cutting yourself is not going to solve or help the problem.  In your case, it also makes you feel badly.  If you feel as though you cannot keep yourself safe from self-harming, we encourage you to call our Hotline, and talk with one of our counselors. We are here to help you and want to talk with you about this. It’s important that you utilize healthy coping skills to cope with this emotional stress. Self-harm is a negative coping skill, as this may temporarily cause a sense of relief, but it will not fix or help the underlying issue that has caused you to want to self-harm. It also can create more problems.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>What are some healthy ways that you can handle your feelings of grief? Have you talked to someone about how you feel?  Try some healthy coping skills to replace the negative ones. This could be doing activities you enjoy, writing in a journal, listening to music, calling to talk with someone at our hotline. We will provide a link to more coping skills ideas and encourage you to check them out. It can take time to find the right coping skill for you and will not happen right away. The important thing is that you are trying new things.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Here are those links:</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-choosing-the-right-coping-skill.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-choosing-the-right-coping-skill.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-tips-for-journaling.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-tips-for-journaling.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-Emotional-Health-Checklist.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-Emotional-Health-Checklist.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span><a href="/Pages/tip-coping-skills.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-coping-skills.aspx</a></span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>While your father is not physically with you, you can keep his memories alive.  Try to take comfort in the fact that you were such an important part of his life when he was alive.   Write a letter to your father and express your feelings.  Also talk to other people who knew him so that you can get some of their good memories of him. Put together a memory book about your dad based on your thoughts and other people’s recollections of him.  Continue to honor him on special days such as his birthday or holidays. </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>If you would like a more about this, call the Boys Town National Hotline.   Crisis counselors are available, 24/7,  at 1-800-448-3000.  </span><span>Take care and let us know how you are doing.  We are here for you.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Nancy, counselor</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div></div> </div>13

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