Guilty Of CatfishingRelationshipsGuilty Of Catfishing<div class="ExternalClass349C37849FBD40398A9DE90E1DFD0D63"><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style=""><span style="">​</span><span style="">For 2 years I have been catfishing someone who is really a great person and doesn't deserve it. She found out my pictures were fake earlier on in our relationship, but I was able to save myself by just making up the excuse that I was scared of showing my real self because of the way we met (online) and I only did it to protect myself. The truth is I'm someone completely different--the guy she fell in love with doesn't even exist because I am a girl. Our relationship was obviously damaged from that but continued, I should've left and let her be happy... But now she has found out EVERYTHING about who I am. I always thought I never left any trail to who I really was but she said that her friend helped her find out who I really was somehow, and sent me a screenshot of my Facebook profile photo. I have always kept this secret life private from my family and friends, because I have always been ashamed of how I feel deep down. I have always just wanted to be normal, but it has always been a much greater struggle for me than anyone else around me. I'm terrified that this girl knows who my parents are and my sister through my Facebook, and that she will tell them. The last conversation I had with her she told me she never wanted anything to do with me ever again and that she wouldn't expose me, but as the shock of knowing who I am settles in, there is no telling what she will decide to do later on. I feel so guilty, I knew deep down we would obviously never work out but I truly loved this girl and she loved who she thought I was... I have been having suicidal thoughts and a general feeling of anxiety and shame and paranoia. I really need help. </span></span></p></div><div class="ExternalClassB11AD7E1A5B742F690DC7DEB77BF629E"><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Thank you for reaching out to Your Life Your Voice.   It isn't easy to reach out when you are struggling, but we are glad that you did.  It really sounds like you are going through a difficult time and that your thoughts are causing your life to spiral out of control. You made the right choice to reach out for help and it's a good step you were able to admit that.  It shows strength in even what may feel like one of your darkest moments. </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">We are very concerned for you as you mentioned you are having thoughts of suicide. Please know suicide is not the answer for any problem. Life can present us many challenges and right now you are struggling. Suicide might seem like the only option you have to get away from the pain you are feeling, but in reality, it doesn't make things any better. It is permanent, so it takes away the option for you to have the opportunity to feel better and live your life to the fullest.</span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">If you feel that you are not able to keep yourself safe, reach out for support immediately. This can be by calling 911 or calling us here at the hotline. We are here to support you and talk to you about what is going on and what is causing you to feel this way.  There is help available and you are not alone. </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Using healthy coping skills can you help get through difficult times. It can take time to find the best the options to heal and cope, but suicide should not be one of those options. For today, let's make a plan and a promise and a goal to keep you safe. Finding a different outlet to help you work through your feelings in a healthy way would be a wise choice. </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">It is understandable that this girl is upset with you for the deception.   You have already apologized for your actions, and there is nothing that you can do to salvage the friendship, as she has indicated that she doesn't want anything to do with you.  It is important to respect her wishes and discontinue contact with her.</span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">While she has assured you that she will not expose you, you are worried that she may change her mind later.  You do not have control over her actions, but you are wasting a lot of emotional energy worrying about "what if".  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">One thing that you can do that may help with the negative feelings that you have about yourself is to let your close family and friends know what you have been doing.  This is a very brave step, but then you have come clean with them, and it will help to mitigate your feelings of shame, anxiety, and paranoia.  If you do disclose, then the secret that is causing you to feel badly will be exposed.  However, you need to be prepared for their response, even if it is a negative one.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">You recognize and accept the fact that your dishonesty was hurtful to someone else.  Instead of dwelling on the past, it is important for you to move forward in a positive way.  Try to live your life with honesty and integrity, and that includes being truthful in your relationships.  You can get over this, and this can be a valuable learning experience for you.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">We want you to know that we are here for you.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Please take care and let us know how you are doing.  </span></p><p><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Nancy, counselor</span></p></div>20

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