Bulletin Board Post

Feelings

I Want To Change My Ways

<div class="ExternalClass817B2DECA5334E77BE18AE5C062DA34F">I am going through a somewhat hard time. I want to start gaining confidence and self-esteem but I feel stuck. I am a community college student. I really want to make changes but there are obstacles and setbacks that seem to come my way. I am determined to fix my confidence and self-esteem problems. I want to let go of all the resentment that I feel. I want to let go of my anxiety. My day was going good until I had a social interaction with a few people. I was pretty awkward and nervous even though I tried to be calm. I shook hands with this person and it came off awkwardly. I don't know how to be calm in social situations. It really brought me down. Now I'm trying to bounce back from it. I'm worried if I came off as disrespectful or rude. I've been shy for the vast majority of my life and I'm READY to change that. I want to stop being shy in so I can have a easier time interacting with others. I want to develop and gain confidence in so I can stop being shy and start feeling good about myself. Sometimes, I hate myself for my horrible social skills. This is why I want to change so badly. Sometimes, I compare myself to others and I realize that's not good. Sometimes, I feel like I failed as a man, and like I'm the weakest person in my world. This is why I want so bad to change my ways. So far, I've made a decision to change my body posture and say affirmations to myself. But I've been inconsistent. I also struggle with a bit of anxiety. Meditation sounds like the best possible solution. So far, listening to music helps with my anxiety. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass2A96323B521441BC8FD98BB9BA04A31E"> Thank you for reaching out for help to us here at Your Life Your Voice when you are struggling with your self-esteem, confidence, and social anxiety. Each of these things that you are facing can be difficult to manage in and of themselves, but together they can feel overwhelming at times. You have shown an amazing amount of courage and intelligence so far to do what you have so far on working on these different areas of your life (e.g., adjusting your body posture, using positive affirmations, meditating, and listening to music). It is very normal that not all of these things worked or were equally as helpful or easy to implement. Hopefully we can give you some addition resources and support for working on these areas of your life. As you have probably already discovered, trying to address self-esteem, confidence, and social anxiety all at the same time can be overwhelming and sometimes feel like you aren't making progress. Wanting to address all of these issues as once is completely natural! Just because it is natural doesn't always mean that it is effective though. With all of that in mind, we often encourage people with many growing edges (such as you) to narrow their focus to once issue at a time. You have complete control over which area in your life you will choose to focus! For example, maybe you choose the area you feel will be the easiest or maybe the area you feel is most important. Regardless of which one you choose, you can't go wrong. Once you make that decision, try to focus all of your extra energy (outside of school and your other obligations) on making improvements in that one area of your life. A lot of people worry that focusing on just that one area means the other areas will get worse, but research tells us that doesn't actually happen very often. In fact, making improvements in that one area often ripples and leads to improvements in those other areas (which then means changes in those areas will be easier down the road). While you are deciding which area you want to focus on, we want to give you some resources for working each of these areas. Here are just a few tips from our website that might be helpful based on what you have told us so far:<ul><li> 101 Positive Things to Say to Yourself: <a href="/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx</a></li><li> Improving Your Self-Esteem: <a href="/Pages/tip-improving-self-esteem.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-improving-self-esteem.aspx</a></li><li> Mirror Rule: Learning to Love Yourself: <a href="/Pages/tip-the-mirror-rule.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-the-mirror-rule.aspx</a></li><li> 11 Ways to Combat Anxiety: <a href="/Pages/11-Ways-To-Combat-Anxiety.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/11-Ways-To-Combat-Anxiety.aspx</a></li><li> 6 Ways to Curb Social Anxiety: <a href="/Pages/tip-6-steps-to-curm-social-anxiety.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-6-steps-to-curm-social-anxiety.aspx</a></li></ul> Of course, there are only a few of the links from our website that might be helpful. For the full list of our services, please follow this link: <a href="/Pages/Tips.aspx"> http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/Tips.aspx</a>. If you are wanting some more additional/professional help, please consider talking with the counselor at your community college. Many colleges have counselors/therapist who provide mental health services to students for no charge (or a very small charge). Talking with this counselor can definitely be an option for getting more specific, face-to-face help as well as just having an additional person who can be a support for you on the journey of improving these areas of your life one day as a time. Please don't hesitate to reach out to us if you need some additional help. We are here for you if you need us! PC – Counselor </div>

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