Bulletin Board Post

Feelings

I Know Lying Is Wrong

<div class="ExternalClass25C5A836F7E94CC1BE94FA3863D661BC">I know that lying is wrong, but I really want to stay out of trouble. I don't think before I make a choice, I just do it anyway and expect to get away with it. Sometimes I feel like I need to lie even though I don't want to. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass43C7525A9FBD41679C447B536DA15412"> Thanks for your courage in being honest with your feelings; it is very important, especially if you want things to get better. Often lying is the result of not having the confidence to make the right decision from the start. Maybe you snuck out of the house because you didn't have the courage to tell your friend that you didn't want to. Maybe you cheated on a test because you were not confident in your study skills. Maybe you lied to your boyfriend because you didn't want to hurt his feelings and didn't think that he would like you enough if his feelings were hurt. We all have times when we lack confidence and don't feel good about ourselves. Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we have a healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us able to deal with life's ups and downs better. Lying has some consequences that you may not have thought about. Lying can have a harmful effect on your mental health and your life. It can cause a lot of anxiety because you are always worried about getting caught or trying to spin another tall tale to cover the lie that you already told. Lying can also cause a lot of hurt and pain in your relationships. People learn that they can't count on you to be honest so they stop telling you things or start hiding things from you. When someone finds out they have been lied to they often are disappointed and in some cases devastated. Trust is something that is valuable and takes a long time to build up again once it is broken. It's great that you are trying to make a change now so your addiction to lying does not keep growing. Addictions are often difficult to stop, but with persistence and determination on your part, it can definitely be something that you get ahead of. Next time you find yourself lying. Stop, even if it is in the middle of a conversation and reframe what you are saying. Try phrases such as "Actually, what I should have said is....", "I'm sorry, that is not what I meant to say", or "What I actually want you to know is..." As people close to you start to see that you are really trying to be truthful they will learn to trust you more. Lying can sometimes get out of control to the point of needing intervention from a professional therapist. If you feel that you can't improve this situation on your own, reach out to our hotline and we will help you find someone in your area to talk to about this. We know this is a confusing time for you. If you want to talk about it, we will be here for you. You can call our hotline 1-800-448-3000 anytime or you can text or chat with a counselor through our site: <a href="/">www.yourlifeyourvoice.org</a>. We look forward to hearing back from you again. Take care and keep safe, Nicole, Counselor </div>

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