How Do I Help My Girlfriend?RelationshipsHow Do I Help My Girlfriend?<div class="ExternalClass92B17BEDD8F44E4EA870AF2D12C852DB"><p>​<span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;">Hello, this is not affecting me directly but it’s about my girlfriend of 2 years. So I have noticed that her dad was abusive verbally on the phone a couple minutes ago and he’s very degrading to her and he makes her feel terrible and he does this on a daily basis and it makes me so upset, but I don’t know what I can do about it. I want her to be happy but I don’t know how. </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClass62A3CC98B93042DE9EE9095D3D306DCB"><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color:#333333;"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;">We know it is difficult to see someone suffer when you care about them. There is nothing you can do to change your friend’s father, however, you can help your friend. Talk with her about her responses to hurtful things that others say. </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;">We suggest that she develop a plan. Her plan should include what she will do when those hurtful things are said. She may say a prayer, go through the words of a song or do positive self-talk. You may help her identify these</span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;"> so she is prepared in her mind and in her heart to protect herself from the emotional pain it can</span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;">cause. Challenge her to find ways that she can relate to her dad at times when he is calm. If she can strengthen their overall relationship by finding things that they have in common, the conversations between them may improve. We have tips on both of these for you to share with your girlfriend:</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;"><a href="/Pages/tip-your-safety.aspx?Topic=Abuse">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-your-safety.aspx?Topic=Abuse</a><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;"><a href="/Pages/Build-a-Bridge-Not-a-Wall.aspx?Topic=Family">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/Build-a-Bridge-Not-a-Wall.aspx?Topic=Family</a><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;">The best way to handle a stressful situation it is to prepare ahead of time. Your friend knows that her father is likely to say something that could potentially hurt her feelings, so preparing to protect herself and trying to change how they relate to each other in general is the best way for her to handle it. Continue to provide support to her through this difficult time but if it becomes too big for the two of you to handle, reach out for help, help her find a trusted adult to talk to.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;">Sincerely, </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:17.3333px;color:#333333;">Pat, Counselor</span></p></div>15

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