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How Do I Work Through This Guilt And Grief?

Feelings

How Do I Work Through This Guilt And Grief?

<div class="ExternalClassF69B1F5C242948A598B8DFCB75DE0EE3">One of my best friends passed away this summer and I feel like it is consuming my happiness and ability to focus in school or at home and I feel guilty of being alive. How can I get help? </div>

<div class="ExternalClassA9FF01D1F28A478D93CB9037AEE7AA07">Thank so much for emailing in. Losing a friend is heartbreaking. We are so sorry for your loss and know that it is weighing heavily on your mind. It's scary to realize that you never know when you may not be here the next day, or unbelievable that a higher power would ever allow this to happen to a young person, or even guilt riddling like you are experiencing – that you are ok but your friend is not.To say that feeing guilt is normal is not to say that YOU are feeling normal now, because you are not. You are still grieving. You cannot focus. You don't feel happy. You miss your friend. Guilt can be a part of a person's grieving process though. It's a saddening and confusing feeling. We do not know how your friend's life was lost, but know that your friend would want to feel happy again, and go through life knowing that he/she cared about you.So where is the help? Since everyone grieves in different ways and there is no timeline for it – meaning some people may be feeling better in a month and for others it could take years – what a person needs will be different from person to person. Here are some things to consider. Counseling – it can come in the form of working with your counselor at your school, seeking outside therapy, or even with someone at your church. There is even specific counseling called bereavement counseling for people who have experienced loss. Coping Skills – knowing some tips that work for you to brighten your spirits or calm your anxiety, can help you to refocus. Surrounding yourself with supportive people – that means positive people whether family or friends whom you can trust, who are good listeners, who make you feel better when you are with them.Since loss can even disrupt your sleep, take care with your diet, exercise level, and sleep times, because your emotional health can affect your physical health which can kind of cause of cycle of just feeling bad all around. Here are a few tips and resources too. We want you to know that you are not alone. Everyone handles this differently so there is no shame in this and you still are on this Earth for a reason. You are alive. Take care of yourself, so you can be here for a long time. If you put some of these supports in place, you will start feeling better.<a href="/Pages/tip-being-resilient.aspx?Topic=Coping">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-being-resilient.aspx?Topic=Coping</a> <a href="/JournalPages/Grief.pdf">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/JournalPages/Grief.pdf</a><a href="/Pages/understanding-happiness.aspx">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/understanding-happiness.aspx</a>Laura, Crisis Counselor</div>

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