Bulletin Board Post

Family

Pressure From Mom

<div class="ExternalClass1AADDD82817B4641B077EE52B75438E1"><div>I need some advice. So I just turned 18 and I will be starting college soon. I feel like there is a lot of pressure on me to like get a job, and then getting my license, but to be honest I'm just taking it slowly but I will be getting them surely soon. Any advice on how to like not let the pressure get to me? Also any advice on my mom telling me I don't really contribute to the household by helping out but I do, I do the dishes, laundry, and other stuff to help her out but I feel like she just doesn't notice it and it makes me sad and angry but any advice on what to do there too? </div></div>

<div class="ExternalClass970CA011B7F4456783E0635A8F4890F2">Thanks for writing in today for help with this transitional period in your life. Adulthood can creep up on you, and then all of a sudden it's here! As you mentioned, pressure can definitely be a common theme during this time. There are probably many people asking you many questions, but rest assured – you can take it one step at a time. While the pressure may still be present, having a good handle on your future (even if there are some obstacles or change of plans along the way) will remind you it is YOUR future and YOU are in control. Start by writing down your goals, short term and long term. Organize them in a way that it is easiest for you to read, that way you do not overwhelm yourself with a huge laundry list. Take the time to consider what you will need to do to reach this goal – break it down. For example, Getting a job:<ol><li>Scout places you might want to work.</li><li>Ask if they are hiring. </li><li>Grab an application. </li></ol>Doing this will help you allow yourself to take steps in the direction you want to go, but at an steady pace at which you are comfortable. Crossing out things on your list will also help you feel accomplished! Check out this <a href="/Pages/Setting-Goals.aspx?Topic=Transitioning%20to%20Adulthood">link</a> on more information on setting goals. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing around the house. Your mother may not notice and we may not know for certain why, but try to plan special times where you do something directly with or for her. This can be directly offering (verbally) to help with making a meal, or doing laundry for her. If you are wanting her to notice, even just once, it might be something like this that will open her eyes. Balance, and handle stress with <a href="/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx?Topic=Coping%20Skills" style="text-decoration:underline;">coping skills</a> and <a href="/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx?Topic=Self%20Esteem" style="text-decoration:underline;">positive affirmations</a>. Together these will help you manage in ways that are safe and healthy. This may be a tough time but if you are needing support, please do not hesitate to reach out. Until we hear from you, look over this page for some more information. All the best,BME, Counselor </div>

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