Bulletin Board Post

Family

Why Are They Always Mad At Me?

<div class="ExternalClass35BF46616BAB4F42B896F98E19E64B71">I feel like my family members are always mad or annoyed at me. They make me feel like I don't matter. This doesn't help with my self esteem since I already think bad things about my self. I feel like I was a mistake or that I am useless. Nobody cares everybody always finds a way to say I did something wrong. Even friends find a way to say I did something wrong. Some times I feel like cutting I've done it twice. I don't know how to handle this. I want to disappear. </div>

<div class="ExternalClassEB4BB6A67261413A81A64D7FC7A827BE">We are glad you have discovered our web site and are reaching out tonight. We can appreciate the frustration and sense of loneliness you conveyed in your email. It's difficult when it feels like others are mad at you. Instead of letting these negative thoughts continue to run through your head, take time to practice good communication skills and ask them directly about how things are going. Try these phrases:<ul><li>"I feel like you are angry with me, can you tell me if this is true?" </li><li>If they are mad, ask a follow up question..."How can we change this?" </li><li>"Would this help to improve our relationship?"</li><li>Then make sure that you follow up and take responsibility for your actions. </li></ul>We have some tips that might help with this: <ul><li><a href="/Pages/Build-a-Bridge-Not-a-Wall.aspx?Topic=Family">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/Build-a-Bridge-Not-a-Wall.aspx?Topic=Family</a></li><li><a href="/Pages/When-Anger-Comes-Between-You.aspx?Topic=Anger">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/When-Anger-Comes-Between-You.aspx?Topic=Anger</a></li></ul>Reaching out for support is the brave and wise thing to do. It is not easy to "turn the tide" and start feeling good about yourself when it feels everyone is against you. Sometimes relationships are strained because you might be feeling down and are talking negatively to yourself, telling yourself things that aren't really how the other person feels. This can cause as much or maybe more harm than an actual conflict. If you suspect that this might be what is going on, try some positive self talk. <ul><li>Print this list: <a href="/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx?Topic=Self%20Esteem">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/tip-101-positive-things-to-say-to-myself.aspx?Topic=Self%20Esteem</a> </li><li>Pick 3 things from it and say them to yourself everyday for a week. </li><li>Then the next week pick 3 new things and keep going.</li></ul>If you think that your feelings are a result of relationship that can't be improved at this moment, reach out for support for yourself. By surrounding yourself with support you will give yourself that cushion that you need to deal with the stressful relationships in your life. We can be part of that support, call us anytime - 1-800-448-3000. Also think of adults in your life who could help (coaches, teachers, counselors, youth leaders) and reach out to them. When your feelings become too much for you to handle, instead of doing something to harm yourself, reach out for support or journal out your feelings. We are here whenever you need us. We care and we will help. Stay brave. Sincerely,Nikki – Counselor </div>

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