Bulletin Board Post

Family

Hard To Show Affection For My Parents

<div class="ExternalClassBF3707AC82E44C2EB47EC6D750F6DFD2">Hi. I don't know why its so hard for me to show affection for my parents. Even though my father tells me: 'I love you' I cant seem to respond back. Like something is keeping me from saying it. Shame maybe? I don't know, really. Sometimes I really want to say it but I coward out. I just don't feel comfortable or feel awkward when I say it. I can say it in texts or sometimes a call but that's hard at times too. I don't usually tell my mom I love her because we are not that type who tells each other this. We are not like other daughter and mother who talks about everything and are sweet to each other. I tell her some interesting things that happened at school sometimes but anything more personal than that I don't talk to them about it. Its not hard for me to get sweet and talk about it with some friends but to them I can't. Maybe not being understood keeps me from doing so? I don't really know. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass9912508897314C6C90A88FAFB14227C1">Thank you for writing in to YLYV. We understand how this situation could cause you some feelings of uneasiness. Telling someone you love them isn't always as easy as it sounds. If you grew up in a family where the sentimental words weren't said and emotions were not open, it would be hard to say those kinds of statements. Many people are not comfortable saying "I LOVE YOU" as they may be afraid of what the other person might think or say back, maybe it's a fear of appearing needy or being rejected. You said it might be that you fear not being understood. What does that mean? Understood in general? You also said "shame". Help us understand. Many people go through relationships of all kinds without saying those words. Many regret not saying them. You have to decide why you don't feel comfortable at this point letting those words come out and maybe get through that fear by saying it in other ways to start. You can text them at the end of a message. You can say "Love Ya" or "You too" when your dad says it and the start to feel comfortable that way. As for your mom it might be easier to include those words in a text from time to time. As with anything, the more you practice something that may seem uncomfortable, the easier it becomes. Give it try. Think about it for a while then take action. Don't worry about getting a response back because it isn't about that right now. We wish you the very best. Take care, Naina, counselor</div>

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