Anger Towards My SisterFamilyAnger Towards My Sister<div class="ExternalClassB1DEA11388644F9EBB685C07135CF2C9"><p>​<span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4" style="">Hi, I have a lot of issues, my biggest one is anger towards my sister. I don't know what to do and it has been recently been coming to my attention that it is starting to get very out of hand and becoming very damaging. I don't want to hurt her, I just have a lot of trouble dealing with my emotions and want to get better. I am afraid that I have left her with emotional scars and that I might damage our relationship to the point of no return. Some days I feel like my only option is to run away and never see her again because she is the only one who incites this anger in me and I think it would be better for us in the long run. </span><br></p></div><div class="ExternalClassCEEDDDC6202C474AB6746CD450F49F52"><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">We are so glad you're reaching out to talk about this. Managing emotions, especially negative or difficult ones, is a struggle for everyone. It is very wise and courageous to admit that you struggle with this, so that you can learn ways to better handle these feelings. We are so glad to be able to help you in your journey of personal growth!<br></span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">When we're struggling to manage powerful feelings, there are several steps to practice. Think about the times that you behave this way toward your sister, and see if you can figure out what triggers this reaction. There may be a common theme in something she says or a way she acts that is triggering you. If you can identify the trigger, you can be more aware of your interactions with her to prevent the negative feelings. Perhaps she would be willing to hear the triggers, and help to avoid them as well. After identifying the triggers comes practicing recognizing them in your interactions when they are happening. Being aware of how you feel in your body when this happens can be helpful. Meditate on a past interaction with her where you were triggered and how your body felt, and where. Sometimes it's a knot or other sensation in the stomach. Some people notice themselves balling their fists. Maybe you start to purse your lips. It's different for everyone. </span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">When you notice these things, it can help you identify that you need to step away and collect yourself. In order to prevent further damaging your relationship with your sister, explain to her that you are trying to learn to manage your difficult feelings in a healthier way, and are working toward recognizing when your feelings are becoming overwhelming so you can excuse yourself to calm down. When you excuse yourself from the conversation, go to another room and do activities that relax you, or distract you, so your emotions can settle and you can again regain control. Here is a list of 99 coping skills from our website that may give you some ideas of what activities you can do to calm and distract: </span> <a href="/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx"> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/v2/Pages/tip-99-coping-skills.aspx</span></a><span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">.</span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">After you've calmed down, you may feel that you can go back and talk to your sister about your feelings. Often times, anger is covering up other feelings that are more vulnerable, like sadness or embarrassment. Talking to her about these things will help you to find new ways of communicating these feelings. If you have any questions or would like to talk further about this, let us know.</span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Thank you so much for taking this step for yourself. You are not alone! We hope you reach out for more support!</span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Sincerely,</span></p><p> <span class="ms-rteFontFace-1 ms-rteFontSize-3 ms-rteThemeForeColor-2-4">Shannon, Counselor</span><br></p></div>18

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