| Disappointing My Parents | Family | Disappointing My Parents | <div class="ExternalClass51BA9B72D5F145F6973EC991E4B6BECF"><div class="ExternalClassBC31AEC33FF24A5BBC0F1F03D93078E6" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;color:rgb(89, 89, 89);"><p style=""><span style="">I am facing a lot of stress. </span><span style="">I feel like I can do nothing correctly. </span><span style="">I feel like I am </span><span style="">a f</span><span style="">ailure and I also feel like I am disappointing my parents. </span><span style="">I get into trouble in college unknowingly and I alway</span><span style="">s</span><span style=""> end up telling my dad about it and he helps me face it. </span><span style="">I feel that I have been disappointing my dad ever since I began schooling. </span><span style="">He helps me deal with my problems and I just keep on getting into trouble. </span><span style="">Please help me. </span><span style="">I d</span><span style="">on't think I can cope anymore. T</span><span style="">his time too I have u</span><span style="">nknowingly </span><span style="">created a problem which will again put my dad down because of me. </span><span style="">I never wanted this to happen. </span><span style="">Please help</span><span style="">.</span><span style=""> </span></p></div>
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</span></div> | <div class="ExternalClass98FF228F26224C9B86BC804A662D9D03"><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Thank you for reaching out for help today. You were very brave
and smart to reach out for help when you are struggling with the thoughts that
you are; most college students your age refuse to reach out for help, even
though reaching out is one of the best ways to get help with difficult
situations like this. At 20-years-old, it is very normal to feel like you are
disappointing your parents.</span></p>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>College is a particular time when disappointment can run quite
high; in college, you make mistakes, are learning and growing, and finding your
path in this world. With that in mind, disappointment isn’t always a bad thing.
The pain of disappoint is usually a sign that you are learning and growing from
a mistake that you made; just from what you have told us, it sounds like you
have already started learning that you are doing somethings that you regret.
Another important thing with disappointment is that we start to recognize ways
that we can make changes in the future; for example, you cannot change the
mistakes that you already made, but you can see how you would act differently
in the future.</span><br></p>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>In addition to feeling like you are disappointing your dad, we
want you to recognize that parents are quite resilient people. A lot of the
time, parents have a deep, unbinding love for their children; this means that
despite the mistakes that you make, your parents are still going to love you
and want to be there for you. Of course, they might be angry and disappointed,
but that doesn’t stop them from loving you. If you are still worried that
you dad is disappointed in you, you can talk to him about it. Ask him upfront
if he is disappointed by you; let him tell you what he is thinking and feeling
and just soak it in. It might be hard to hear what he has to say but often his
advice hints at ways that you can make improvements in the future.</span><br></p>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>If you are wanting to additionally start addressing the
disappointment that you are feeling, you can start increasing your independence
and autonomy when it comes to righting wrongs. We recognize that dad has helped
you with mistakes a lot in the past, but sometimes figuring out, on our own,
how to remedy a situation is the best learning experience we can give
ourselves; also, showing your dad that you can handle things on your own may
decrease some disappointment. For example, you fail an exam in a class and are
now in academic trouble with the professor. Instead of calling your dad and
asking for his help, you reach out to your professor on your own and address
what you can do to improve your grade. After you have addressed the issue with
your professor, you can tell your dad, “Hey, I was having an issue in class,
but I want you to know that I have it under control and am going to do better.”</span><br></p>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Hopefully some of this will be helpful for you. If you need any
more advice or support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. Good luck and
take care!</span><br></p>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">PC - Counselor</span><br></p></div>
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