Disappointing My ParentsFamilyDisappointing My Parents<div class="ExternalClass51BA9B72D5F145F6973EC991E4B6BECF"><div class="ExternalClassBC31AEC33FF24A5BBC0F1F03D93078E6" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;color:rgb(89, 89, 89);"><p style="">​<span style="">I am facing a lot of stress. </span><span style="">I feel like I can do nothing correctly. </span><span style="">I feel like I am </span><span style="">a f</span><span style="">ailure and I also feel like I am disappointing my parents. </span><span style="">I get into trouble in college unknowingly and I alway</span><span style="">s</span><span style=""> end up telling my dad about it and he helps me face it. </span><span style="">I feel that I have been disappointing my dad ever since I began schooling. </span><span style="">He helps me deal with my problems and I just keep on getting into trouble. </span><span style="">Please help me. </span><span style="">I d</span><span style="">on't think I can cope anymore. T</span><span style="">his time too I have u</span><span style="">nknowingly </span><span style="">created a problem which will again put my dad down because of me. </span><span style="">I never wanted this to happen. </span><span style="">Please help</span><span style="">.</span><span style=""> ​</span></p></div> <span style="color:rgb(89, 89, 89);"> </span><span style="font-size:16px;color:rgb(89, 89, 89);"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClass98FF228F26224C9B86BC804A662D9D03"><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Thank you for reaching out for help today. You were very brave and smart to reach out for help when you are struggling with the thoughts that you are; most college students your age refuse to reach out for help, even though reaching out is one of the best ways to get help with difficult situations like this. At 20-years-old, it is very normal to feel like you are disappointing your parents.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>College is a particular time when disappointment can run quite high; in college, you make mistakes, are learning and growing, and finding your path in this world. With that in mind, disappointment isn’t always a bad thing. The pain of disappoint is usually a sign that you are learning and growing from a mistake that you made; just from what you have told us, it sounds like you have already started learning that you are doing somethings that you regret. Another important thing with disappointment is that we start to recognize ways that we can make changes in the future; for example, you cannot change the mistakes that you already made, but you can see how you would act differently in the future.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>In addition to feeling like you are disappointing your dad, we want you to recognize that parents are quite resilient people. A lot of the time, parents have a deep, unbinding love for their children; this means that despite the mistakes that you make, your parents are still going to love you and want to be there for you. Of course, they might be angry and disappointed, but that doesn’t stop them from loving you.  If you are still worried that you dad is disappointed in you, you can talk to him about it. Ask him upfront if he is disappointed by you; let him tell you what he is thinking and feeling and just soak it in. It might be hard to hear what he has to say but often his advice hints at ways that you can make improvements in the future.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>If you are wanting to additionally start addressing the disappointment that you are feeling, you can start increasing your independence and autonomy when it comes to righting wrongs. We recognize that dad has helped you with mistakes a lot in the past, but sometimes figuring out, on our own, how to remedy a situation is the best learning experience we can give ourselves; also, showing your dad that you can handle things on your own may decrease some disappointment. For example, you fail an exam in a class and are now in academic trouble with the professor. Instead of calling your dad and asking for his help, you reach out to your professor on your own and address what you can do to improve your grade. After you have addressed the issue with your professor, you can tell your dad, “Hey, I was having an issue in class, but I want you to know that I have it under control and am going to do better.”</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Hopefully some of this will be helpful for you. If you need any more advice or support, don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. Good luck and take care!</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">PC - Counselor</span><br></p></div> </div>20

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