Bulletin Board Post

Family

My Father Left My Family

<div class="ExternalClassB15ED908F7E546E5A46A90F1D5465D4B">I still hurt even though my father left my family 2 and a half years ago. How do I stop? I'm tired of getting hurt by male figures in my life. </div>

<div class="ExternalClass2265D268A837492FA20932CB9D7FD0D8"><div><div class="ExternalClassB15ED908F7E546E5A46A90F1D5465D4B">Thank you for reaching out to the Your Life Your Voice website. You did a great thing by reaching out to talk about the struggles you are experiencing that is not always an easy thing to do. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of sadness and hurt. A parent leaving is never easy to overcome. There is no specific plan or guideline on how to quickly work through the pain caused by the absence of a parent. Let yourself be sad, angry or whatever other feeling you may have when you feel it. Recognize those feelings, acknowledge them and understand you have the right to feel them. It is important you don’t stop and just live in that place, surrounding yourself with the hurt. You will work through it in your own time, and that is okay. There are some things you can do to progress through those feelings in a healthy way. If you are not already working with a therapist, that can be a great way to talk about what exactly is going on, how this affects you. Writing a letter to your dad can be a way to get anything out, you do not have to give it to him. Write it all down without stopping and once you are done, rip it up and throw it away if you would like. It is important to understand that it is not your fault. You are not any less of a person and any less worthy of love even though your father isn’t around. Sometimes children who have experienced the loss of a parent will try to find the love of others, or things to replace and fill the void. Doing this generally leads to further disappointment and a lack of self-worth as we may not surround ourselves with people who help us grow and show us the love we truly deserve. Understand you are worthy to be loved and deserve healthy relationships that help you flourish and grow. What happened does not define you; your father leaving is about him. It is something that happened to you, and what you do now will help form you into the person you will become. Though it is painful to move through life without the love of both parents, this is the time you should learn to love yourself the most. Loving who you are for exactly what you are now and who you will be. You can be there for yourself. You can be strong. You are strong, stronger than you may recognize. We want to be a support for you. We are here to offer you support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Stay strong! Sincerely, Brittany, Counselor </div></div> </div>

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