My Family Hates MeFamilyMy Family Hates Me<div class="ExternalClass4982BBB4A10242FEB0741309E665FA0D"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​<span>I don't know what to do. My family hates me. All the time they are verbally harassing me. Telling me that I am a terrible person, telling me that I am a disappointment. Anytime I am around them I have to walk on eggshells. I can't win. Nothing I do is right. To them I always have an ulterior motive for everything I do.  ​</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div><div class="ExternalClass2DD05263C98942588B4DE1E133E43CAA"><div><div class="ExternalClass4982BBB4A10242FEB0741309E665FA0D"><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>We are so glad that you reached out today.  It is not easy to reach out, but we are glad that you did.  It has to be difficult when your family is not being supportive, and are actually making very negative statements about you.  </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>One option to try to stop this is to sit down with your parents and let them know how your family members comments make you feel.  Do this at a time when everything is calm, and try to remain as unemotional as possible.  Try not to be accusatory; just state how your family members’ words make you feel.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>You can also write your parents a letter and let them know how hurtful the negative statements are to you.  Hopefully this will help, but you also have to be prepared for a negative response.  If they do not give you the response that you want and deserve, then you should develop some additional coping skills to deal with the situation.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>It is important to surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive.  Are there any relatives that live near you that can provide you with emotional support?  Also, is there a teacher or a school counselor, or a close friend that you can talk to?   You need those support systems around you when your family is unkind to you. </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Please understand that just because your family members call you hurtful names doesn't mean that you are those names.  Unfortunately, you cannot control your family's behavior.  But you can control how you deal with their unkind words.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Try to evaluate situations when your family members start saying derogatory things to you.  Are there any steps that you can take to avoid those situations?  One possibility is to remove yourself so that you do not have to hear hurtful words.  Don't be rude, but go outside or to another room in the house.  </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>Every time a family member something hurtful to you try telling yourself something positive about you.  Make a list that describes all of your positive attributes.   Don't forget to add to this list from time to time.  Bring this list out and read it to yourself when they say something negative.  Aside from developing a "What's Great about Me" list, try to identify types of activities that make you happy.  Engage in  these activities when they are being verbally abusive to you.</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"><span>We want you to know that we are here for you.</span><span> </span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;">Nancy, counselor</span><br></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span></div></div> </div>14

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