My Dad Makes Me Feel WorthlessFamilyMy Dad Makes Me Feel Worthless<div class="ExternalClass8DBD24CB57374483836D13AEF5CAD712"><p style="font-family:georgia;font-size:16px;">​<span style="background-image:initial;background-position:initial;background-size:initial;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;">I</span><span> think my dad is verbally abusing me. I'm not sure what would qualify as verbal abuse but I just know he makes me feel worthless. In the past he has made me want to self harm and kill myself and he continues to do it and even when I try to tell him to stop and tell him how it feels but he talks over me and never lets me talk.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span> <p class="MsoNormal"></p></div><div class="ExternalClassD234DF84473F4FE7B22CE63F26BE2A17"><div><div class="ExternalClass8DBD24CB57374483836D13AEF5CAD712"><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>It has to be very difficult when you do not feel that home is a supportive place for you.    Make sure that if you do not feel safe that you call 911 or your local Child Protective Services.   Verbal abuse is a form of child abuse.  However, authorities would have to make the determination whether what your father says meets the legal definition of abuse.   If you contact one of our counselors they can provide the CPS number in your state so that you can talk to an intake worker about this situation.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span> We are particularly concerned that you had thoughts  of suicide and self-harm.  If you are having thoughts of suicide or feel unsafe, it is important to get help by talking with someone you trust.  Try to identify supportive people in your life.  It could be family, a minister, or even a neighbor.  These should also people that you can go to when your father is saying unkind things to you.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>Do not let your father’s actions control your actions to the extent that you want to take your life.  You are dealing with a lot in your life right now, but suicide is never the answer.  It is permanent, it is forever.  It solves nothing and only hurts you and your loved ones beyond your repair.  Suicide is never a good option. You do not need to go through this alone, please keep safe and reach to us if you need assistance. </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>You should feel safe at home and your father should be supportive of you.  Unfortunately, this does not appear to be the case. You should feel safe at home and your father should be supportive of you.  Unfortunately, this does not appear to be the case. You should feel safe at home and your father should be supportive of you.  </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>One option to try to stop this iis to sit down with your father and let him know how his comments make you feel.  Do not do this when things are heated, as you indicated he talks over you.  Instead, do this at a time when everything is calm, and try to remain as unemotional as possible.  Try not to be accusatory; just state how his words make you feel.  Also, if you think that you won’t be heard by him then ask a supportive person to help you talk with him. </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>You can also write your father a letter and let him know how hurtful his words are to you.  Hopefully this will help, but you also have to be prepared for a negative response.  If he does not give you the response that you want and deserve, then you should develop some additional coping skills to deal with the situation.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>Please understand that just because your father calls you hurtful names doesn't mean that you are those names. Unfortunately, you cannot control your father’s behavior.  But you can control how you deal with his unkind words.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>Try to evaluate situations when your father starts saying mean things to you.  Are there any steps that you can take to avoid those situations?  One possibility is to remove yourself so that you do not have to hear hurtful words.  Don't be rude, but go outside or to another room in the house.  </span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>Every time your dad says something hurtful to you try telling yourself something positive about you.  Make a list that describes all of your positive attributes.   Don't forget to add to this list from time to time.  Bring this list out and read it to yourself when he says something negative.  Aside from developing a "What's Great about Me" list, try to identify types of activities that make you happy.  Engage in  these activities when he is being verbally abusive to you.  Take care.  We are here for you.</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span><span style="font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;"> </span><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:normal;font-family:tahoma;font-size:16px;margin-bottom:7.5pt;"><span>Nancy, counselor</span></p> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span> <span style="font-size:16px;"> </span> <p class="MsoNormal"></p></div></div> </div>17

You don't have to face your problems alone!

Counselors are standing by.

Ways to Get Help