If friendships should make you happy, why do some friends make you feel bad? It's easy to get
stuck in a friendship that just isn't very healthy and happy.
There are also those needy friends who cause lots of problems for people, here are some basics:
What's a needy friend?
General characteristics of a needy friend:
- Every time you are together, you find yourself listening to their problems.
- You only hear from them when they feel bad.
- They never really feel better, no matter how anyone tries to help.
- If you try to talk about yourself, they don't seem to really care.
- When you end a conversation with them, you feel exhausted.
So if needy friends are annoying, why are you friends with them?
- A needy friend is better than no friend.
- You
like to feel needed.
- You'd feel guilty if you weren't there for them.
- Sometimes your needy friend is fun when they're not being so needy.
- They weren't that needy when you first became friends.
How do I deal with a needy friend?
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Set boundaries and stick to them. For example, make it clear that you don't take phone calls in the middle of the night.
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Focus on doing things you both enjoy. This keeps them from wallowing in self-pity.
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Be honest about what's bothering you. Tell them their problems are just too much for you.
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Recommend they get help from an adult. Encourage them to talk to their parents or a school counselor if you feel that they might need some professional help.
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Take a break. If you need to take a break from being around them, take it.
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Distance yourself. Downsize the time and effort that you put into the friendship.