You have gone through some major life events. Things aren't turning out as you hoped. Life isn't fair. If you find yourself getting in these kinds of situations, take some time to process your thoughts:
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Life is harder than I ever imagined.
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This is not how I dreamed things would happen.
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I don't feel strong enough to handle this on my own.
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Everyone else has it better than me.
Your honesty about these thoughts and feelings can help lead you to move forward and stop being stuck.
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Yes, this is hard, but I can do hard things.
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This is not what I was hoping for but maybe I can find a different way to do things.
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I might not be strong enough on my own, but I can ask for help.
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Some people have it better than me, some don't. I can look for something to be thankful for even during this difficult time.
When a mindset change is not enough and you still feel stuck, it may be time to take additional steps to prevent those negative thoughts from staying on instant replay in your mind:
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Be still. Don't act on any negative thoughts while you are processing and grieving your disappointment. Stay away from substances and self-harm. Allow others to comfort you. Make it a time to practice good self-care.
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Be strategic. If you don't know how to move past the disappointment, ask for help. If you don't know how to be strong, ask someone to stand beside you to support you. Ask yourself what helped me in the past? What have other people done in the past to move beyond this kind of loss?
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Take action. This is where many people stop. They think and think about what to do. They get so busy thinking that they forget to do. They come up with steps that they could take, they hear suggestions for a direction that might help and then they talk themselves out of acting.
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Move slowly but keep moving. Take one step. Reach one goal. Take the next step. Reach the next goal. Keep moving forward.
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Be realistic. Your pain will not all go away at once but as you take steps to make things better, things will shift. Your disappointment will not be as smothering.
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Be open to change. Let go of the perfect picture of what might have been. Find new paths and new journeys. There are new adventures ahead.
Although the world is full of pain and suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
