Whether seeing a counselor is your own idea or something you are required to do, you may be feeling a little unsure and uncomfortable with the whole idea. Here are some tips to make the experience more positive:
- Counselors are there to help you. It might seem kind of odd that a total stranger could care about you and want to help you, but that's exactly what counselors are all about. Counselors go into that field because they want to help people. Your counselor wants to see you succeed and overcome whatever obstacles you are facing.
- Counselors aren't there to judge you. Talking to another person about your deepest thoughts and feelings can be a pretty nerve-wracking experience. What will they think? Will they judge you or think you're weak or broken? Fortunately, counselors aren't judges. Their job isn't to decide if you are a good or bad person, or judge your personal struggles. Their job is to help and support you. Because of this, a counselor may encourage you to change certain behaviors, but that doesn't mean that they think you are a bad or weak person.
- You have to do your part. While your counselor's role is to help, you also have a role to fulfill when you go to counseling. Your job is to be open to the counselor's help and to put in effort to help yourself. If you are struggling, you may need to change the way you think about or do things, otherwise you will probably continue to struggle. Changing thoughts and behaviors is hard, but counselors can help us navigate those changes, however they can't do them for us.
- Be open and honest. Often therapy involves talking about tough situations or feelings. It might be difficult at first, but this is how your counselor will understand your situation so they can help things get better. Work to be open with your counselor.
- Be specific. If you don't tell your counselor the whole story about what is going on, they won't be able to provide the best type of help. Think about it. If tell your medical doctor that you are having headaches but fail to mention that you fell and hit your head recently, he might just tell you to take some pain relievers and not investigate further. The same is true when it comes to therapy. If you tell your counselor that you are struggling with the way you feel but don't explain why, they can't really help. If you don't know why you are feeling the way you are, that's okay too, do your best to explore this in depth with your counselor. In the same way, if you have had thoughts about ending your life please tell your counselor. This could be difficult, but if they don't know they won't be able to offer the best type of help.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions. Counselors are happy to answer your questions about the therapy process, so don't be afraid to ask. If you are concerned that your counselor is going to tell your parents everything you share with them, ask them about it. If you don't understand something your counselor wants you to do, ask them to explain. They are there to work with you, so they need to know what questions you have. Open communication will break down barriers that will allow you both get down to the business of helping you make progress.
After Your Appointment
- Take time to unwind. Talking about yourself can be stressful. Schedule time for self-care time following your therapy appointment. Go for a walk, talk to your parents about your session, punch a pillow, cry, yell, do an activity with a friend to decompress.
- Consider keeping a journal or log of your week. This will help your counselor to understand how events and situations are affecting your mental health.
- Write down your questions. If you think of a question for your counselor during the week, write it down so you can remember to ask it at your next appointment.
- Do your homework. If your counselor asks you to do journaling or coping exercises, do your best to follow through on this. If you try them and they don't work for you, that's okay too. They are trying to help you to work through your situation, find solutions, and move forward.