Definition: Sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
Are you dealing with major disappointments because important events have been cancelled due to the coronavirus? It's bad enough that you are stuck at home and feel isolated from friends and places that are important to you, but canceling things like graduation, sports, prom, concerts, and theater productions is just too much to handle!
You are likely wondering why this is happening to you and are very angry at the unfairness of it all. Guess what? You are right,
it absolutely is not fair! You have worked hard on goals that can't be accomplished. You have planned and looked forward to events that will never happen.
Who would have predicted that the routines and milestones of our normal everyday lives would be turned upside down like this? The disappointments you are feeling are justified, and unfortunately many of those feelings are going to hang around for a while.
It may surprise you to find that what you are experiencing is really similar to the 5 stages of grief:
- Denial - (I don't believe that this is happening to me.)
- Anger - (I'm so angry that this is happening to me.)
- Bargaining - (I'll do anything to change what is happening to me.)
- Depression - (I feel hopeless about what is happening to me.)
- Acceptance - (I can go on living the rest my life and try to deal with my disappointments.)
It's understandable that you might even feel selfish for thinking about how this is affecting you and the events in your life, when people are losing loved ones to this virus. You are experiencing loss too. You care about what happens in your life AND in the lives of others. It's okay to have mixed up feelings. Allow yourself to grieve the losses you are experiencing.
So what can you do?
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Pick yourself up. Try out some
positive self-talk. Remind yourself of the good things you have going in your life. You may even find yourself being thankful that your situation isn't as bad as someone else's.
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Connect with friends in different ways. There are many online ways to connect in today's world. Be creative! You could even mail thank you notes or letters to people that have been important in your life.
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Continue to improve yourself. Whether it is a sport, schoolwork, or music, continue to practice and work hard to make yourself even better at what you are doing.
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Take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep, shower, have a routine that gets you through each day.
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Embrace simplicity. You may begin to appreciate not having to get dressed up every day. Be mindful about being in the moment rather than worrying about what is coming next.
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Learn something new. Start a new hobby, learn a new language, play a new instrument. Try things that you never had time for before.
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Organize your life. Clean out drawers, closets, and sort through everything in your bedroom. When you feel like you have no control with other things in your life right now, cleaning your space allows you to take control of something.
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Document your experience. Like it or not, you are living in a time that will go down in history. Keep a diary of your self-quarantine experience (by writing or photos)
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Make lists: Goals, dreams, blessings, favorite things –
88 Journal Topics has great ideas.
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Practice kindness. Compliment/praise/thank each family member for something each day, help around the house, support others.
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Give yourself a break. Turn off the TV, limit exposure to news reports.
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Just breathe. Get outside, open a window, breathe in fresh air.
When something bad happens you have three choices. You either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
