As you get older, you will find your relationship with your parents starts to change. You may feel a need for independence while your parents don't think you are ready to handle it.
Here are some steps you can take right now to help your parents realize how responsible you have become. Through various levels of independence, you can have a great relationship that is built on mutual respect. While they will always be your parents, and they will always do “parent things" these steps will help you begin to build a stronger, better, and more adult relationship.*
- Be on time.
This develops trust. Your parents are more likely to be flexible if they can trust you to arrive places when you say you are going to. - Check in.
If for some reason you're going to be late, let your parents know. If your plans change, tell them. When you get home, talk to your parents, let them know how your day went. - Do the things that you say you are going to do.
If you tell your parents that you are going to complete a task, follow through with it. For example, if you say that you will clean your room, take the time to get it done. Keeping promises not only shows a great deal of maturity and develops trust; it also shows how responsible you can be. - Put aside some time for your family.
Your friends are important, but so are your family. Try to find balance so you spend time with all the people who are important in your life. - Share your feelings.
If your parents guess how you are feeling, it's likely that they will guess wrong. That can lead to more questions and possible consequences. Then you or they might feel irritated or upset. It's easier to tell them what's going on and how you feel about it. - Admit your mistakes.
Instead of making excuses when you mess up, calmly say that you made a mistake. Be honest about what happened, if possible, find a way to make things right again. - Keep your reactions neutral.
You might feel many emotions and some of them might be quite intense. Take a deep breath. Try to keep your reactions neutral, try to avoid arguing or getting angry. Practice self-control. - Be helpful.
Offer to do things that will help your family like loading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, or putting things away. When your family views you as being helpful, it can give them a better perspective of your character when you experience challenging situations.
*Some parental relationships can be unhealthy and possibly abusive. If this is true for your family, tell a trusted adult in your life the concerns that you have. Ask your trusted adult to help you sort through what type of assistance might be right for you and your family.
