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Shoe Box Therapy: Healing After a Break-Up


​​When a relationship ends, it can feel like the pain will go on forever. Perhaps you have asked ​yourself, “Will my heart ever be whole again?” “Will this pain ever go away?” “When will I stop crying?”

Doing something called “Shoe Box Therapy” can help you to heal from a broken heart. There are several versions you can use, or you can do a combination of both methods.

SHOE BOX THERAPY (version #1)

  1. Every night before bed, write a letter to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. You can write anything that you want, and it can be as long of a letter as you desire.
  2. Fold up the letter, or put it in an envelope, and place it in an empty shoe box.
  3. Repeat for 30 days (write a letter, fold it up, place in a shoe box)
  4. At the end of 30 days, put the shoe box away in storage, bury it, or throw it away.

By writing how you feel, you allow yourself to grieve openly and to release the pain and hurt that a break-up can bring.

SHOE BOX THERAPY (version #2)

  1. Turn a shoe box into a “memory box” where you keep items, articles, pictures that remind you of your relationship.
  2. Allow yourself to pull out the box for 15 minutes a day to look at the contents… and cry if you need to.
  3. Then put the box away, dry your tears, and move ahead with your day.

Doing this gives you permission to feel your feelings for a short period of time rather than to hang on to the sadness all day long.

Either way you choose to use Shoe Box Therapy, it can be an effective way to grieve the loss of a relationship because it gives you time to heal and sort through emotions.


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