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Writing a Letter to Your Parents

writing letter

Many times we receive emails from teens that are having trouble effectively communicating with their pa​rents.  Whether it is a ​teen who wants to tell their parents that they are depressed, how important an activity or privilege is for them, or whether they just want to re-connect with a parent who may have become distant, there are many issues that teens want to let their parents know about, but for whatever reason they don't feel like they can.  Hopefully this article can give you some helpful ideas about how else to communicate with them.

Frequently teens will try to start a conversation with parents about these issues, but will feel put off or unheard.  Conversation sometimes isn't the best way to communicate because of how fast it all happens, how emotional it can get, or because you may not ever to be able to find a time where you both are open for a conversation.  Writing a letter can be helpful for many reasons including:

Dear Mom,

I know you probably are surprised to find this letter because I usually don't do stuff like this, but I wanted you to know something and thought this may be a good way to talk with you.  I wanted to sit down and just talk with you but that is really hard for me because I am shy and a little embarrassed. I also am just not good at talking sometimes, so that is why I am writing you.  I don't want to keep anything from you because you have always been such an awesome mom.  I hope you can help me out like you have so many times before.

I am writing because I have been really sad lately.  Really down and out.  My classes are harder than ever and dad is probably going to freak out when he sees my report card this semester.  I feel like I always let him down, especially because I get such lower scores in school than both sisters.  I do try hard, it just doesn't come as easily to me.  I also have been getting made fun of at school a lot.  This kid, Chris, is always book-checking me and slamming me into lockers.  It's getting old.  I also asked this girl I liked to the dance and she turned me down.  I just feel worthless…

I need help.  I don't know what kind of help I need or what needs to happen, but I feel like my whole world is falling around me.  I'm tired all the time, but I can't seem to sleep.  I tried to talk to a couple of my friends about what was going on, and they were nice, but they didn't really understand.  I even thought about going to the counselor at school, but she doesn't seem like she would care.  I don't want things to keep going on like this, but I don't know what to do.

I know you can't solve all my problems and won't be able to fix all this stuff, but I wanted to let you know what was going on and see if you had any advice or anything that you could give me.  One thing that I think would help also is if we could maybe go out to see Uncle John sometime because we always seem to have fun out there and we could maybe talk then. 

Anyways, thanks mom and I hope you can either write me back or talk to me sometime.  Writing may be better for me since I am not good at talking.

Your son, Zach

With a letter like this where you take time to let the person know how much they mean to you, give them information about what is going on, tell them how you are feeling, and then sharing some information about what could help or how they could respond can all be very helpful!  And you can use a lot of mediums to deliver the letter.  Put it in an email, a Facebook message, handwritten on a piece of paper and left on their bed, or printed out on the computer and put in the mailbox.  Do whatever works for you.

So, if you don't want to talk to you parents, don't!  Write up a letter to them instead and it can really help in bringing up important issues.

You don't have to face your problems alone!

Counselors are standing by.

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