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Your Relationships

TIP: Are You A Bully?


​How do you know if you are a bully?  Do you care if people think of you this way?  Maybe someone made a comment to you about being mean.  Maybe you just aren't very happy with your group of friends right now.  An honest self-evaluation of your relationships may not be an easy thing to do.  If there is a chance that others might think you are a bully, or that you are mean to others, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you feel the need to be in control, to manipulate, or dominate others?
  • Do you feel the need to win at everything, and hate to lose at anything?
  • Are you a poor winner by bragging or rubbing it others' faces?
  • Are you an even poorer loser?
  • Do you find satisfaction from others' fear, discomfort, or pain?
  • Are you frequently concerned that others might be disrespecting you?
  • Do you have very little concern for what others think, or how they feel?
  • Do you lie to stay out of trouble?
  • Are your problems always someone else's fault?
  • Are you willing to abuse other people to get what you want?

It may be tough to answer the above questions, and maybe you don't really care what other people think.  But for the sake of having happy healthy relationships in your future, it might not hurt to think about making some changes.  What should you do if others say you are a bully?  How can you stop being thought of this way?

  • Talk to someone you trust and respect who will help you look at how you treat others.
  • Put yourself in other people's shoes.  How would you feel if you were treated the way you treat others?
  • Appreciate differences in others.  Different doesn't mean someone is worse or better than you.
  • If others watch and laugh, it doesn't mean they like it (or you) when you are mean to others.
  • Be a positive leader…real leaders treat others with kindness and respect.
  • Ask a friend to help you stop if you start to say or do something that is mean to others.
  • Be willing to make apologies to people you have hurt. 
  • Set a daily goal to be nicer to others--say hi, smile, give compliments.

Remember that although you may not like everyone, you should treat others with respect!

You don't have to face your problems alone! Counselors are standing by.

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