You might be hesitant to get your parents* involved in the problems that you are dealing with. Below are some reasons that teens give for not wanting to talk to their parents, and some explanations for why it may be a good idea:
□"My parents have enough to worry about already."
Sometimes parents are loaded down with their own problems. But getting help from your parents now may prevent the problems you’re facing from being worse down the road
□"My parents will be disappointed in me."
Your parents may feel some intense emotions like confusion or frustration. If you are worried about how they will respond, tell them. You could even speak to them in a way where they can have some time to sit with those feelings prior to a face to face conversation by either writing them a letter, email, or text. If this conversation is difficult and you need help navigating the emotions involved, remember, we are here to help.
□"My parents won't understand."
Quite a few parents don't understand what's going on in their kids' heads. The more clearly that you can express your feelings, the quicker they will realize that their help is needed with what you are experiencing. Send them a Mayday Call to help them understand your situation.
□"My parents will make it worse."
If you are confessing about something you did wrong or are sharing a big emotion about something that happened, things may be different for a while and it may feel worse but if you choose not to bring things up, that can have consequences too. When big problems or feelings sit inside of us with nowhere to go, they can cause even bigger problems over time.
□"My parents are part of the problem."
If you think your problems stem directly from your parents, go to another trusted adult for help. Trusted adults that might be able to help could include another relative, a friend's parent, someone from your school, or a counselor from our hotline.
□"I'm too ashamed to talk about it."
Shame is a strong emotion. Your parents will probably ask most of their questions when you first tell them, so it may be intense in the beginning, but generally talking about something can help ease the burden. It's heavier to carry the burden of the problem on your own. By talking about something you can sort out your feelings and think through the events that led to the situation, knowing this may help you to find steps to take towards finding healing and possibly a solution.
□"I don’t have a great relationship with my parents, so I’m not comfortable talking to them."
If you don't feel much of a connection with your parents, you may be uncomfortable bringing up a serious issue. Or, in some cases, your parents may be uncomfortable with the situation and may not know what to do, because of this, they might avoid having a conversation with you. Consider talking with another trusted adult in your life, perhaps together, you and your trusted adult can talk to your parents.
□"My parents don’t have enough money for me to see a therapist."
Many places will base their fees on a “sliding scale." This means they're willing to lower the cost if your family is on a tight budget. In some areas and school systems, there may also be free or need-based options available for assistance.
*Some parental relationships can be unhealthy and possibly
abusive. If this is true for your family, tell a trusted adult in your life the concerns that you have. Ask your trusted adult to help you sort through what type of assistance might be right for you and your family and if talking to your parents is healthy for your situation.
