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Your Self Esteem

TIP: Improving Your Self Esteem


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Comparing ourselves to our peers is a way to gauge how “normal” we are. It may also give us ideas about our own strengths and weaknesses. The problem comes in when this process snowballs and gets out of our control. We start to think that we will never be good enough. Maybe you’ll recognize some of these statements:

  • “I’m not smart enough”
  • “My skin color isn’t right”
  • “I’m not important enough”
  • “I’m not thin, pretty, handsome, athletic, funny, happy…”
  • “I’M NOT ENOUGH!”

Once you make the decision to take control of your self-esteem, the first place to start is with time. It may sound like an odd suggestion, but think about it for a second. People with negative self-esteem tend to be thinking about two things:

  • the past
  • the future

They’re sad because they think their past was a failure and they are scared that they are never going to be what they want to be in the future. Thinking like this does one thing, it never lets you live your life. If your mind is stuck in either place, you never get to really experience what is good in your life right now.

So once you’re “in the present,” here are some points to remember and ways to build your self esteem:

  • You are responsible for how you see yourself.
  • No one can give you poor self-esteem.
  • Recognize that comparing yourself to others makes you feel "less."
  • Fill your life with things that work and things you are good at.
  • Surround yourself with people who appreciate what you are right now.
  • Focus on what you can control and recognize what you cannot control.

Most importantly, understand that having a great self-esteem says nothing about how good of a person you are. There are plenty of dangerous and hateful people who think the world of themselves. So every time you start to question yourself, remember that every day is another opportunity to be a better person.​​​

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