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Your Self Esteem

TIP: Being Assertive


Being Assertive

​​When it comes to life, there are times when being strong is a blessing.  A strong person is able to help others, deal with difficult situations, make better decisions and build healthy relationships with others.

Being assertive can be something that you are naturally gifted at, or a skill that you still need to develop.  Here are some things you can do if you were not born with this natural ability.

  1. Be aware of your surroundings.  Be observant of the situations around you.  When you are aware, things will not sneak up on you or surprise you.  You can notice problems right away so you can deal with them while they are still small, instead of later when they are big and overwhelming.
  2. Act confident.  Start with the way that you walk, stand up straight, look people in the eye when you talk to them, be friendly and address them by name if possible.  This will send the message that you are open to having a conversation and you know what is going on.  As you act confident, guess what? Your confidence naturally grows and you become confident and strong.
  3. Speak clearly.  No one will know how gifted and kind you are unless you speak in a clear calm voice.  This too is something that starts as an act and it grows into a natural ability.  If you are having trouble with this, practice in front of your mirror, or consider taking a speech class.  You can also ask a parent or someone else who you trust to give you some tips on how you could speak more assertively.
  4. Take control of the situation.  If you sense trouble brewing, be strong and make a decision about what should be done.  Some situations require an exit plan.  If you sense that a date is not treating you right, call your mom ask her to pick you up.  If you feel that someone is going to cause trouble in the lunch room, pick a different table.  If you think that a friend is being bullied, help them get out of the situation.  If you are in a situation that you aren't able to control physically, take control with your voice; speak loudly and clearly. 
  5. Be friendly, the more that you smile, say hello, and are kind to others the more friends you will accumulate.  There is great value in having many friends to turn to when times are rough.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Even the strongest people have times when they need support and advice.  They need someone to help them sort through their problems and find ways to cope with their current situation.  A strong person knows who can provide this sort of help and asks for it.

You don't have to face your problems alone! Counselors are standing by.

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