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Started: 8/11/2009 2:08 PM by
Stand Up For What I Believe In?
My family is being ripped apart... I dont even know where to start.. First of all, I live with my grandmother, my dad is on disability and my mom is in rehab. My gradmother is a doctor and gives me everything I could ever want. All my life, ive watched my aunt and my mom survive off my grandmothers money and I told myself that when I am on my own, I will never ask her for anything or have to rely on her finacially. Ive made straight A's my whole life.. No one has ever had to tell me to study or do my work. I did it because it made me happy. But now that im a senior things have changed. I do have a best friend. She is a senior also.. We have grown up together and she is practically my sister. Her parents are very strict but not in anyway overly strict. My grandmother has serious control issues. She doesn't have the patients for me or any of the mistakes I make. Everytime I make a bad decision, even the smallest of ones, she kicks me out of my house. I have never given her a reason not to trust me, but she still doesn't. Today I found out I qualify for a scholarship to a junior college in the town I live in. Our school has a program where you get out after lunch and go take a college course. When I got home today I thought she would be excited and proud of me.. But it was totally opposite. She told me I couldn't take the class. When I asked her why she said "because I said so". Its summertime and she makes me come home at 6 in the afternoon. Im a senior for heaven sakes! For the past 3 years Ive never been given a curfew.. but I never needed to be given one, becasue im not the "party" type. I always came home and was in bed before 10 oclock! But she calls my bestfriend a whore and tells me she hates me and wishs I would die. I think its because she finally realized that after this year ill be gone.. And at this rate, Forever. Idk how to convince her that Im not the horrible child she thinks I am.. Ive hurt my best friend because I had to tell her what my grandmother said about her.. And she is the only reason why I wake up in the morming. My grandmother told me that my best friend is the reason why I have no friends. I have plenty of friends. But most of them are fake, and stuck up. Just because they are doctors kids, She hates my best friend. I can't abandon my best friend. She has gone through anything and everything with me and I owe her my life for it. I want to runaway so bad. My mom comes home from rehab in 2 weeks and when she does everything is just gonna get worse. I dont know what to do.. Once again she has "kicked me out" of my own home. I have no where to go and no clue what to do.. I need someone to tell me that standing up for who I love is the right thing to do.. It hurts so bad that I just can't do it anymore..
Edited: 8/12/2009 9:58 AM by
Wow, you are dealing with a lot and it sounds like you have very little emotional support!  No matter how hard you try it is unlikely that you will be able to change your Grandmother.  Perhaps her reaction to you has got nothing to do with you personally.  It could be that she feels responsible for your Mother's struggles and in looking back feels that if she had been harder on her, or monitored her more closely things would be different with her now.  She could be transferring that to you and how she is treating you.  We really don't know do we!

Would you feel comfortable to ask your school counselor to speak with your Grandmother about attending the college class in the afternoon?  Maybe that conversation between professionals would have a better outcome than yours did with your Grandmother.  The counselor could point out the benefits of allowing you to do this and assure her that it is legitimate and will benefit you in the future.

Try really hard to stay focused on your future and your goals.  As a senior, that should be your number one priority because graduation is the next milestone in your life. 

Old friends are the best kind so do not abandon her.  Don't tell her the things that your Grandmother says about her.  They are only hurtful and you don't want to hurt the ones you care about.

If you truly are out on the street and need a place where you are safe, call 1-800-999-9999 for the location of a shelter nearest you.  Take care and stay in touch.

Pat-Counselor