Thank you for your kind words about our site as well as how it made you feel. Having two women share a space, regardless of the closeness of their relationship is a difficult setting. Our need to control our home environment makes us more aware of differences in tolerances and living habits.

It is good to hear that you are sharing with the chores around the house and it may be even more helpful to have a formal conversation about that with your Mother. Ask if she would like to divide up the household responsibilities and learn where her tolerances are. Some women do not want others to use their washers and dryers or be in their kitchen, others don't feel that anyone can load the dishwasher as effectively as they can. And the list goes on and on.

At this point in your life you will not be able to go back and build the Mother/daughter relationship as it would have been if your were not apart for 10 years. It may be more effective if you just work on becoming "friends" with a special connection. Your respect of her as your Mother will be greater than the respect you have for other "friends". Your sensitivity toward her will be greater and your emotional sharing may grow to a different level with time.

Rather than just staying home to be with her, go out together. Have lunch, see a movie, go to a book store and talk about what you like to read. Do some fun things together. If you or she have a church, go together. With friends we strengthen our relationship by sharing experiences. Do that with your Mother.

Good luck with this. Stay in touch and let us know how things are progressing.

Pat, Counselor