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Edited: 3/31/2010 11:31 AM by
Lots of Issues
My mom rarely ever supports me. She doesn't like anything that I like. I am not one of those "girly-girls" and wears pink and lipgloss. I am a tomboy who loves black, tattoo's, and piercings. She wants me to grow up like a girly girl. She also rarely ever supports me and what I want to do. Like I told her I was going to do marching band and she is like, "Well okay, you signed up you are going to do all the work. Anyway, you should have come ask me if you could have done it instead of you signing up without permission." She does not want me to play softball either. This weekend she is ditching us kids with our dad's, or a babysitter just to go to a stupid bridal shower and casino. I wouldn't mind it but she gave us one days notice. I want to move in with my daddy really really bad because all me and my mom do is fight. We argue about every little thing, like where I go to hang out, my friends, social life, school, boyfriends, diabetes ( type 1, yah i has it), and everything under the sun. I also have social issues. I have been bullied since the middle of 3rd grade. Since then i have been the outcast that noone talks to or hangs out with. I have been called soooooooo many names that I can;t name a lot of them. I have little friends, but the friends I have i charish like they a piece of gold. I will luffs them forevers. This is because I rarely ever make any new friends. My last issue is my Boyfriend. He rarely calls me, texts me, or wants to hang out with me. Does he actually like me or is he soo nervous of having a girlfriend he doesn't know what to do?
Thanx for listening,
Edited: 3/31/2010 11:32 AM by
You certainly are dealing with a lot of different issues and feelings.  Thanks for finding us--we hope that we can be of a support to you--as we are sorry to hear that you feel your mom does not support you.
Consider these questions to ask yourself:
What do you honestly feel your options are?  It sounds as if you want to move in with your dad, but is this truly an option?  What if your mom and dad do not agree that this is the best option?  Are you able to accept the decisions from your mom and your dad?  (remember, you are not always going to like the decisions made by your parents, but your ability to accept them....)  Do you feel like you can talk to your mom about your concerns?  Have you shared with your mom and your dad, that you are unique and have a unique style?(--that is what makes you, YOU!)
Its great to hear that you have involved yourself in the school band....getting involved with positive activities through the school is an awesome way to cope with your situation, and all the different feelings attached to it.  Plus these are all experiences--for you!  You will remember, in a few years time....you will think: "Yeah, I joined the marching band all by myself..." ...and be proud of that decision....not everyone is able to play an instrument, it is truly a talent!
Now switching gears....to talk about relationships.  Well, they are tricky, aren't they?  Whatever the relationship is--between you and your mom, dad, friends, siblings, and even boyfriend.  The only thing/person you can control is -- you and your own behaviors/actions.  So, do you feel like you can talk to your boyfriend about your feelings?  Let him know, how it makes you feel when he does not answer your calls/texts/messages or how he does not want to hang out with you.  It could be that he is not emotionally ready to have an exclusive relationship with someone--and you are!  Keep trying to reach out to him, and ask yourself:  what good qualities does he have?  Is he a good friend?  Can you trust him?  Can you talk to him?  Are you able to be honest with him? --those are the key elements in having a healthy relationship/friendship/boyfriend....be patient with yourself and with others around you: family, new friends or people you meet, and boyfriend.  :)
Today: try and do something for yourself today....we hope that you are going to have a good day and keep us updated with how you are doing!
Take care,

Kara, Counselor