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Edited: 2/26/2010 1:01 PM by
I Need to Get Away from My Mom
Trouble With Mom:
     Ever since I can remember, I have always had trouble with my mom. When I was younger I was convinced that it was my fault, but as i got older I realized that it was the dumbest things that made her mad. Simplle mistakes I make causes her to snap and yell at me. I spend most of my time with her everyday. My daily life is to come home from school, do homework or go to sleep until she gets home, then go to the store with her for hours, come home, help her make dinner, eat dinner, then go to bed. I rarely go to bed on time because we do not return from the store at an earl time and then she takes a long time to cook. When I tell  her i dont want to go to the store with her,, she gets an attitude and sometimes has me and my brother clean the house out of spite. I dont want to be there and she tells me I can go, but when i try to go somewhere she always has an excuse of why I cant go. I hate that she tries to make me responsible for everyting. She goes to the grocery store everyday, but she never makes a list. When we get to the store she'll ask me what we have and what we need but i never know. When i tell her i dont know she gets mad and tells me that its my responsibilty to keep a list. i told her i would make a list she just has to tell me what she needs. But she never does, so theefore i have no list and therefore she gets mad at me again. she also has me clean her room and yells at me an my brother when her room is dirty, but we're never in it. It also angers me when she told me and my brother to leave so she could have some alone time. she said she would pick us up at 8 or 9. she didnt get us until 11 at night. another time she did this i was upset because she said she would take us to the mall. but after we cleaned her room she told us to take the bus. i wouldnt of cared, but it was dark outside and we only had 20 dollars and if we took the bus we wouldnt be able to get what we wanted at the mall. She also abuses us, more verbally than physically. she has called me fat, whore, and other words that really hurt me. i always forgive her but it still hurts to think that she says that. She also manipulates me and my brother. she just about always gets what she wants from us and when she doesnt she tells us that we're ungrateful and that she a good mother and she doesnt deserve this. she can be very lazy at times too. she also likes to embarass me and my brother when we're out in public. But the thing is that she doesnt do this to anyone else, just us. i dont understand why. she ha a somewhat tragic childhood, her mother died when she was seven and her family played faoritism over her younger sister. when i asked her why she would treat us in the same mean manner, she simply replied, thats how they treated me. even though she knows its wrong she sill continues to treat us mean. she always pushin us on the edge, she wants us to snap. i know she wants to fight me, why, i dont know. i think she is somewhat troubled. another thinh=gs is boys. im a teenager, so naturally im going to be into guys, bu my mom told me to always come to her to tell her anything. and i do, but when i tell her minor things, she snaps. when i was in middle school, a boy 3 years older than me asked for my number. i told him to give me his, and then i gave his number to my mom. she wrote a note saying no, and i gave it to the boy. the boy asked if we cud be friends, and i sai yes, since i am sort of a tomboy and most of my friends are boys. he gave me a hug and said goodbye. i told my mom everything that happened, and when i told her about the hug, she snapped and started yelling at me. she called my aunt and told her everything, even though nothing was going on. now, this year a boy i had a crush on asked me to be his valentine, and i said yes. again i told my mom and again she snapped. she was upset becuz the boy is 18 but he just turned 18 and we werent going out, it was a valentine. now anytime i do something wrong she brings up the boy saying, "You're dumb a is gonna get knocked up, do you think he gives a crap about you?" or when i make a mistake she'll say"You cant even do this right and you want to date an 18 year old. He's gonna run all over you." Then yesterday was the last straw. First when she came home and i was sleep and when i said something she just pushed me in my face. then that night she was yelling at me for something that didnt even happen and she kept pushing her finger in my face. then she pushed me up against the counter and i yelled and slammed my hand down and walked away. she told me to go back in the kitchen and i did, the rest of the night having to listen to her say things about me. that night i packed clothes and food, and i left her a three page letter telling her i was leaving a few days. i told her i was tired of being mistreated and that im not allowed to live my own life. honestly, i am a regular kid. ive never been in trouble with the law, im still a virgin, ive never snuck out of the house. yes i can be messy but its nothing major and she yells over the smallest things. she's called my cell phone three times today and i havent picked up yet. i dont know if i will, i just need to get away from her right now. But what should I do?
Edited: 2/26/2010 1:02 PM by
Wow, you really have a lot going on in your home life.  We are so sorry to hear that you feel your mother is unsupportive.  You have every right of wanting things to change with her.  Unfortunately, she more than likely will be unable to do so.  All of the things you talked about are so much to handle at your age.  It definitely sounds like you do an extreme amount for your mother.  Have you ever considered talking to your school counselor about what is going on?  You deserve to have someone that will listen to you and help you to cope with what is going on and your counselor can do that.  The most important thing for you to do is talk to a trusted adult about all the things you have told us in your email.  Having someone to talk to and help you through this tough time is important.  Is there anyone that you can think of?

We know it is difficult to reach out for help and want to commend you for writing to us about how you feel.  You have just taken a huge first step!  Please understand that there are people that can and want to help you, but in order for them to do that they have to know what is going on.  It sounds like you have tried and tried to talk to your mother about how you are feeling, so it might be time to try someone outside of your mother.  Hopefully, they will be able to help you and give you the resources you need to help you and your brother. 

What are some things that you do when you are feeling overwhelmed at home?  Do things like journaling, reading, exercise, music, video games, drawing, etc ever help you to pass the time.  One of the best things you can do is keep yourself as occupied as you can.  Maybe getting a job or volunteering somewhere will help you with the amount of time you are at home.  This way you are helping yourself and building a support network for yourself.  We know that this is going to be difficult for you to do, but you have to keep your head up.  Things will not always be this way and in a couple years you will be out on your own.

We hope that by writing you have been able to release some of your tension and that it was helpful for you.  Always know that we are here if you need us and don't hesitate to give us a call too!

Take Care,
Andria, Counselor