We are so glad you reached out to us, it takes great courage to write about how you are feeling. It is wonderful that you are expressing your feelings to your mother and we are sorry you feel she does not care. Sometimes life gives us things that are very hard to handle and we have to come up with different ways to get the support we need. You are absolutely doing the right thing by telling your mother how you feel and we wish she could understand the pain you are going through. Have you thought about telling someone else you trust about how you are feeling? Your school counselor is a really good person you could try and talk with. They help teens all the time with depression and they could possibly help you get through to your mother. We know it kind of sounds scary, but at least you will be able to talk with someone about what is going on.
You should be so proud of yourself for stopping the cutting you were doing. It takes a very brave person to stop something that addicting on their own. How do you relieve your pain now that you have stopped cutting?
We hope that you have chosen a positive coping skill (reading, journaling, drawing, music, exercise, hanging out with friends, etc). Remember that you are in control of how you relieve your stress and you want to make sure you are not causing yourself any more pain than you are already going through. Just because you used to cut does not mean you have to go back to it, the choice is yours. Please know that there are people than can and want to help you. It's just finding the right person to help you!
Having a relationship with someone that feels forced is never a good feeling, even if it is your father. What did he do that makes you feel he isn't being a dad anymore? If he was a good father before we bet he can be a good one again. We know that you really do not want to have a relationship with him, but have you told him how you feel? It could be possible that he is unaware that he makes you feel that way and would be willing to make a change. It never hurts to try and talk with him, the worst that could happen would be things would just stay the same. We know you haven't had much luck with your mother so maybe your father will be more receptive to your suggestions.
We really hope you continue to reach out to us and always know that we are available to you. We even have counselors available 24/7 to talk with you over the phone if that is something you are interested in. Even though things seem really bad right now, be hopeful that they will get easier. You have started your healing process by reaching out to us and hope you continue this process. We look forward to hearing more from you.
Be Strong,
Andria, Counselor