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Edited: 12/20/2011 2:21 PM by
I'm Not My Sister

I have a sister. She plays volleyball, basketball, track, and is in 14 different extra curricular clubs. She is the smartest person I know. She's only a junior, but she's taking 2 college classes and all of her classes are AP (Advanced Placement.) I play volleyball and am in 3 clubs.

I used to run track, but I got hurt, which was almost lucky, since I never wanted to do it in the first place. My dad denies it, but he wants me to be just like her! He got mad at me when I told him I wasn't playing basketball or running track anymore and he yelled at me for not wanting to play volleyball in high school.

My sister isn't very musical. But, I am! Music, acting, singing, it's what I want to do for the rest of my life, but my dad wants me to be a doctor. I CAN'T BE HER. Like I said, She is one of the smartest people I know. I'm smart, I'm in an advanced reading class, but I'm not nearly as smart as her. Every time I bring home anything less than an A, even if it's not on a report card, they go off on me.

Let me make it a little clearer on how smart she is (and how smart they want me to be) She just got an invitation from a University to attend their honors program. Five schools have offered her academic scholarships, and three in sports. 

I did everything my sister did, like they wanted it. But now, I'm not her, I'm me. They can't accept that. Any tips on how to talk to them and discuss this?

Edited: 12/20/2011 2:23 PM by

It is hard when you are expected to be like someone. You deserve to be valued just the way you are. You have done an excellent job describing your feelings in this email. Sometimes it is good to write a letter to parents to express your feelings. A letter means importance and allows for uninterrupted expression of feelings.

Let your parents know what part of their behavior you appreciate and what part causes you sadness. Focus on providing a defined description of your personality and positive points. This assures that you know you have done your best at letting your parents know what you need from them.

Try to find other positive outlets to meet your need for positive reinforcement. This may be other trusted family members and adults. Sometimes a mentor, coach or family friend can provide you with the encouragement you need to excel at being you. Keep expecting others to value Megan and most of all Keep loving yourself. Please let us know how things are going!

Crisis Counselor,

Valerie

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